My Foolish Notion

Getting ready for school today Miles told me that his school plays part of a song everyday during announcements...each day its a different song. He decided he would put in a request: George Michael's "faith".

It instantly brought back a memory of my childhood, as songs often do for me. (I'm so grateful there was a lot of music in my childhood, my most vivid memories are made possible by their attachment to songs ) It was early winter of 1987 and I was 11 years old. This song was a number one hit on Casey Kasems Top 40 so naturally every kid my age in the nation was singing it. I was in my grandmothers living room with my cousin Tracy who is only a year older than me. We were likely there to celebrate  Hanukkah that mid December of 1987  with our small family which was always the same crowd. Grandparents, my aunt Linda and two cousins, my mom, sister and I. My mom, aunt, sister and other cousin were probably still sitting in the dining room talking and laughing  or playing a card game after a meal that most certainly would have included matzoh ball soup and Gefilte fish and my grandparents were probably watching something on tv in the den adjacent to the living room Tracy and I were in. The cousins and I had passed the age of being entertained by spinning dradles and barbie dolls, and top 40 hits would have consumed our thoughts by this stage of development.

Now, we loved this song and would take turns singing it so we could rate each other on  singing abilities which neither off us were frankly blessed with. How sad for a family who loves music so much to come into this world with impaired vocal chords....such is life. I remember Tracy complimenting me on one particular high note I could really nail in that song..."my foolish notion", somehow there was a break in my vocal chord disparity and i could hit that particular chord with divine falsetto ability....and she noticed. My confidence ascending in that moment  with my new talent, my cousins flattering compliments on my capacity to sing "my foolish notion" resulted in us singing the same song over and over to give me the chance to display my miraculous new and short lived ability while it lasted. It was the only time I can remember in my life where i knew I could sing well...even if it only was  on three words of a single song. 

So on this morning as my 16 year old son was singing "Faith" in the kitchen before school commencing with  "well I guess it would be nice" and then murmuring through the next few lines once he realized the awkwardness of singing those dreaded lyrics in front of his own mother, suddenly  "If i could touch your body" sounded more like "mmhmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm". When I pointed it out we both had a good laugh.

For the rest of the morning I started to ponder like I often do the lyric itself that set me apart from the singing capability of the rest of my family for that brief moment in time..."My foolish notion" curiosity led me to look up the textbook definition of course of each word:

Notion: an individual's conception or impression of something known, experienced, or imagined,

an inclusive general concept a theory or belief held by a person or group; a personal inclination

Foolish: having or showing a lack of good sense or judgment

As a first generation and souled out believer of the Jewish Messiah raised in a secular Jewish family who does not believe of seek our Messiah spoken about in the scriptures, it is fair assessment to say my family would call my piety a "foolish notion". Fool is a term I've actually become quite endeared to as a believer knowing that as Paul writes in his letter to the Corinthians "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." I often will quip that "once I was a fool, and am now only and gladly a fool for Christ.

Ive attempted over the last nearly decade to have intellectual conversations with family members over the probabilities of Jesus being the Messiah;  citing current events and our own Jewish scriptures as a foundation. But they would prefer if I would never discuss Jesus ever..period. No one wants to think about it or discuss it and it causes great distress and anger not only if I would speak about Jesus to them, but just knowing that I speak about Jesus in general in my own life.  I once learned when my cousin Lisa declared at a recent bagel and pastry gathering around the grandparents table what really offended her was me talking about Jesus, citing my public social media thoughts on the topic which I wasn't even aware she ever looked at...my social media that she has never engaged in about Jesus  actually was offensive to  her. My own grandmother whom I love can confidently declare with zero research or reading of the Jewish scriptures that "Jesus was a nice Jewish boy and that's all he ever was". So "my foolish notion" pretty much eloquently sums up the divide I have with the family I love so much.

Then it occurred to me that I was probably overthinking the whole thing, there wasn't any symbolism at all and I was likely "reaching". I have a knack to ponder and wonder and philosophize about even the simplest things in life. The reason precisely why my husband jokingly calls me "the wondering Jew" a play on words of course from the infamous idiom "wandering Jew". As I started to shake off  what initially seemed a profound insight as nothing more than mere coincidence, the next thought I had was...what was the name of that song again? and it hit me: "Faith"

Believe it or not I still shrugged it off after more doubting and decided that instead of writing a blog post about it which i was strongly convicted to do, Id just run through my usual post kids school sendoff morning routine of catching up on both the daily mainstream and social media news of the day. I wasn't five minutes into my Facebook scrolling trying to shake off the nagging conviction to write down my trivial ponderings of the morning when I came across a post from Stevie wonder that told me to "Check out Stevie's new song "faith" featuring Ariana Grande from the upcoming movie "sing""(posted November 7, 2016). So Thanks Stevie For your timely song and advertisement that inspired me to write today.

a letter to my post election apocalyptic friends

Today is November 11th...day 3 after America voted Donald J. Trump to be the 45th president of the United States of America.

1/2 of America seems to be imploding right before our eyes. There are riots in the streets, calls to arm yourself, people so angry they want to break ties with friends and family members who disagree with their Presidential choice.

I asked a girl who said she was "afraid"..., the phrase Ive heard repeatedly these last three days to take me down the rabbit hole terrain of her brain....what exactly was her fear of? What was her #1 concern?

This was her response that I believe is the sentiment of many who feel defeated post election:

"My fear is we will go back to a time when people were hung because of the color of their skin. People will be called derogatory names because of their skin color, gender, sexual preference, weight, etc. My fears are human rights and what will happen to them.

She believes that white people will want to hang other people not white. Now what led her to believe that? What did Donald Trump say that would lead her to come to that conclusion? I know he has said some awfully dumb and cringeworthy things, but never have I been led to the conclusion that lynching was in our countries future as a result of his rhetoric.

So here's what I want to say to you, my liberal friends who I love and value....and all liberal ideological US citizens  who  come in a display of different skin tones, gender, "sexual preferences", weight...etc: I am for you. Ideologically my worldview is fundamentally based on the life and Word of God which guides and instructs me to proclaim healing,  wholeness &  soulful peace for every single one of you. What is fundamentally clear to me during an election season and what what creates multiple fractures in our nation is what the prescription for our healing and wholeness is. With a general stroke, democratic leadership means progress an peace in your world.  To a Republican conservative, Republican leadership means progress and peace in our world. To a christian, neither leadership equates to peace because the believer understands that all leaders are fallen and sinful humans in Adam. We already have a King and leader and no flawed earthly party leadership can steal our peace.  I am equally abhorred by  derogatory comments about others as you are. And I believe you may be blind to your own hypocrisy when you approve of hateful rhetoric as long as its aimed towards the "other side".

 My faith and foundation on truth allows me to see every single human being as valuable; made in the image of God...even when their character doesn't reflect that...I know there is a redeemable image bearer beneath the flawed surface. I don't agree with Hillary Clinton when she says Trump supporters are irredeemable deplorables. I'm well aware  we all have a capacity to be deplorable, yet I have hope and knowledge that we are in fact redeemable.  Every single person is broken and in need of healing....every.single.one. This brokenness is caused by a life lived in Adam with the torch being passed through the ages by our own sinful desires and life lived sharing a planet with other sinners.  I am for restoration of you...I want you to do well...to grow in character and strength...to persevere, to win...to have hope.

Here's the good news: I am not alone. There are more redeemed ex-deplorables like me who are for you...and they also voted for the Republican party. Does I mean to conclude that the republican party is without blemish? absolutely not..does it mean I believe all republican voters are not deplorable racists who are capable of ugliness? Not at all. I am not oblivious to the reality that people are awful, say awful things, do awful things. But I know a lot of Republicans...and none of them are like this...in fact they are the opposite of this. It might help you to be reminded that the abolition of slavery was started by white christian men...and that the republican party was the party to abolish  slavery., while in fact the Democratic party oposed it.

We are not your enemy, we are for you...even if we don't agree on almost every ideological argument and policy...we see caving in to fleshly desires as enabling and unhealthy for everyone, especially you... and hurting our nation we share with you as a whole. So please don't take everything so personally. The majority of the "right" does not want to lynch you....in fact in my nine years of conversing regularly with multitudes of conservative ideologists, this has never been a topic ...never, not once.

My husband a few years ago was out with some friends and a guy he was acquainted with (not a believer)  said a derogatory name to describe black people. My husband pulled him aside and said "Im honestly really shocked and surprised to hear you say something so awful, I think you're better than that". He had a long conversation with this man who eventually confessed he was embarrassed  and ashamed at what he'd said...my husband held him accountable for his words....and he knew he was wrong. This is what we are called to do...to speak to each other in love and truth. To provide rebuke to those we love to bring them to wholeness. When I disagree ith you on the validity of gay marriage and transgender topics, i am doing the same for the LGBTQ community that I am doing for a fellow conservative who says something racist...I rebuke. And its not because I hate them, its because I care enough to tell you the truth to bring healing and wholeness to your life.

The level of fear and anxiety I've watched unfold over an elected official in an American government designed brilliantly with checks and balances drives me more to understand why God tells us to not worship idols. We have made idols of our leaders, putting too much faith and trust and hope in them.