Wrestling with God genesis 32:22

How fitting that God gives us this account of wrestling with God in His first book of the Bible. We all  wrestle with God in the beginning don't we? Until we learn and understand who God is, how much brighter, stronger, more knowledgeable He is than we are and we eventually learn to TRUST Him. How fitting to put this historical event only 20 pages into Gods Word where new believers and  seekers can easily reach before giving up on Gods Word as they become preoccupied by the weight of the world and their own storm clouds.

But here we have a story about a dysfunctional person from a dysfunctional family which we can all relate to:

Jacob; he's cheated his brother Esau out of his inheritance by impersonating him, with the help of his mother,  to his blind and old father. He's been living in Paddan-aran where his father directed him to go after he blessed him. He's lived there for a number of years taking on two wives who've spent the next few decades competing over how many children they could bear for him. He had twelve children by the sisters and the sisters handmaidens who were also used to bear children for the wives. He's now fleeing his father in law  Laban and Labans sons after learning they do  not regard him well. The Lord tells him to return to the Land of his father, Canaan, where his brother Esau still lives. Jacob pulls all his livestock, wives, children, and property together to begin his trek home in the direction of his brother Esau, who he royally screwed over years ago and hasn't seen since.

He is afraid, he is burdened...the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He has been living his own way for a long time, scheming to get his way, being schemed by others on the journey. He loads up the caravan and sends the women, his children and all that he has across the ford of the Jabbok river, and all of a sudden He is ALONE for the night. A man shows up, He's no ordinary man...this is God himself in the flesh. Jacob wrestles with Him. The text says "when the man saw that He did not prevail against Jacob, He touched his hip socket (Jacobs) and Jacobs hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Jacob clung to Him and would not let go "until he blessed him" the text says. Jacob left with a limp that day. God won.

Are you wrestling with God? Are you fighting to do things your way and God is fighting back? Are you winning the fight? Has God touched you to disarm you? Are you limping yet?? If you are, might I suggest you do what Jacob did and cling to Him (the man, God, a,k,a Jesus).  In every biblical story from Genesis to Revelation, and this story here, in Genesis 32:22, the one that clings to God is eternally blessed, as Jacob was when he left the riverside that day.

Jacob continued on his journey towards Canaan to meet Esau fearing for his life. yet God went ahead of him and  prepared Esaus heart. Esau warmly embraced his brother  Jacob ,"he fell on his neck and kissed his brother."

Perhaps you fear the people of God, the people you have slandered for so long you fear they will reject you.  Don't be surprised when God gives you a limp and prepares hearts ahead of you.  When the people of God see you walk with a limp, they will show great mercy towards you and embrace you warmly....because we all also walk with a limp my friend.

NFL kneeling

I've been mulling this over for a few days now trying to figure out what exactly it is that grates me so much about NFL players kneeling for our national anthem. It started with one player who publicly announced it was because of police brutality towards black individuals in the wake of Ferguson.

Here's my biggest problem and the source of my uneasiness about it:

Standing for the national anthem and our flag is the ONE thing that unites us as Americans. We are a nation of different ideologies, skin colors, origins,  political allegiances, faiths, zeal for different causes, and  passions. There is NOTHING homogeneous about us except we are all human and American . The ONE thing we have in common is our country, that flag that binds us. The freedoms we fight for today and men have fought and died for to protect in this great country. How fitting to play the national anthem at a sporting event where giants battle their opponents, in team colors and an audience shows up to support their side in painted face and team apparel. But for a brief moment before it all begins, we all TOGETHER with our "enemies" on field and in stands, ... STAND  for what unites us, America. We are all citizens of the greatest country on earth that people have lost lives for, protecting our freedoms. If we don't stand together for that, for country, TOGETHER, we literally have nothing left. 

I understand passion for a cause. I am passionate about the abortion debate in this country. But why would I attack the very foundation of our country, the country that affords me freedom to speak out against our current laws on abortion? Its because of the flag and our anthem I can stand side by side with my fellow Americans who I wholly disagree with and unite that we are in this together, that God can still prevail NOT by attacking our countries flag and song, but by reasoning with my fellow Americans using my free speech in an attempt to win hearts and minds. This messy freedom loving constitutional abiding country that we love, I won't attack that. I'll stand for it. And I hope you'll stand with me and be offended by any who are small enough to not stand up with me.

 Read carefully the lyrics to the national anthem. We are in a place in this country where we are at an ideological war with eachother , like the anthem states..."the bombs are bursting in air", but in the end, the flag was still there. We are all here today because of that, through good times and bad. There is powerful symbolism in that. Are you willing to stand for the flag that  has endured and remained even after the dust of war  settled? Will you stand for the land of the free, and home of the brave?

Oh, say can you see,
By the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed,
At the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,
Through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched,
Were so gallantly streaming.
And the rocket's red glare,
The bombs bursting in air,

Satans M.o

We can learn a lot about the m.o of satan in Genesis 3, literally page two of the bible for those of you who tried reading the bible and gave up :) Here's what Satan does, on page two and still today.. pay attention, .you might recognize his voice. "Did God REALLY say You must not...(what God said)"...he gets you to question what Gods very plain and simple instructions are....then Eve ponders what God said, reiterates what God said...Satan refutes it, convincing her its not true...she ponders it again, see's the object that God forbid looks good, pleasing and desirable . And......she goes for it. I bet if you pay attention, you can hear Satan speaking directly to you today...maybe you listen to it so much, you actually don't even know what God sounds like anymore.

the flippant snowboarder militant uncompassinate antiabortionist

Written about me by a "prophet" from an apostate group I was shortly meeting with and left by the urging of the Holy Spirit.



It's interesting that of the 6 women In my life who've had abortion(s), 5 of them were due to rape and/or physical and sexual abuse. There is one who had 3 or 4, very flippantly when she was young because as she puts it, she wanted to "go snowboarding." She has since found Jesus. Though she and I disagree on many issues, I love her and respect her. I believe she loves Jesus with passion. She is intelligent, well-read, well-studied, very knowledgeable about the Bible, and after living so many years as a "liberal," now, is deeply rooted in a very conservative belief system. Interestingly, of all these women, she is by far the most militantly and vocally anti-abortion, and, sadly, the most shaming of all. The others, who I know have deeply struggled with their decisions, both at the time of making them and now, are far more graceful and gentle with those who find themselves in positions that are not always black and white.


My response:


Those odds in your friend circle are astronomical. Did you know that the average abortions since Roe vs. Wade is well over a million per year? And, of the roughly 58 million abortions, statistics show that the percentage of women who are victims of rape is less than half of one percent? In Florida (2015), a state that anonymously records reasons for abortion, 92% of women having abortions cited the reason as "elective", the other big contender was 6% for economic reasons. Again, rape was less than 1%, so again bravo; your friend circle is some type of statistical anomaly.....or maybe I'm just more honest about my own sins than the people you hang with as your ONLY friend who flippantly ended a human life? It is kind of a strange thing to fire up facebook and see someone telling your story but embellishing the number of abortions you've had from one to three or four and then using you as an example of a person who is an uncompassionate, shaming, and militant antiabortionist. And I understand the confusion, maybe because in my story, where I came from, most of my friends and family members had abortions, and yes a few of them more than four. I grew up in a "liberal"culture that hated "religious oppressive republican Christians" (even though i didn't know any) with their rules and values about how life is sacred. We sort of hated them and thought we knew better. We believed the lie that abortion was just a medical procedure removing a "clump of cells", not a life. And of course life only has value if we decide it does right? God Shmod. I decided long ago to quit playing victim, here's what I learned about hurting people, they hurt other people. I used to reflect on my life, my broken family, my own instances of sexual abuse and use that as an excuse for my own bad behavior. When God allowed me to see the story behind one of my own molesters, that he himself was hurting and broken because someone else had hurt him, and he hurt others, the cycle went on and I was part of it. Is it possible a woman (less than half of one percent) reported having an abortion due to rape is hurting the child because she has been hurt? Why is the child paying for the sins of the father, especially when adoption is available? Jesus helped me break the chain reaction of harm , no more excuses for my sin. He pricked my conscience as a baby christian about the sanctity of life (it took Him two full years), He humbled me for my own actions and called ME to repentance, not to victim hood, not to justify my sins. Jesus is a victor and in Him, so I am I. So as much as I have rights to claim victim status as the world sees it, I don't anymore...and that was a life changer for me. He showed me how valuable life is, even for unwanted children in the womb. And now, I work to prick the conscience of the world who calls human life "clumps of cells" and decides its okay for people to harm their own children .....even if you're the .05% who was harmed by another person. You know what I love about Christ? the beauty He creates from the most horrendous of situations. Thank you for calling me a militant antiabortionist. When people talk to me on the fence about their pregnancy because abortion is a legal option and they're facing some giant in front of them; finances, rape, just scared they cant handle a child, I encourage them that the God who made the universe and everything in it, He's bigger than their situation no matter how enormous and terrifying the situation is, God can redeem it., He's good, He can make the most beautiful life for you even though it seems impossible and everything in you is saying to just abort and go on. Trust Him, don't harm your baby, Trust Him and see what He can do. You speak of compassion, but for some reason, the compassion ends when it comes to the life of the child who's literal life is on the line. You didn't have to correct the embellished parts of my story because someone called you out on it, you seem to operate on false heart wrenching fiction anyways, its how you keep the narrative to keep abortion legal. Whatever gets you a lot of hearts and Facebook likes. I'm shooting for eternal treasures and mercy, Gods Word tells me for this I'll be hated, and I'm okay with that, I please an audience of ONE. And remember it doesn't have to be 100% grace OR 100% Truth. In Gods economy, you can have 100% of both. So try truth in there with that grace and be blessed!!!