Conversations

Entrance:

 Really being mindful of my entrance into conversations and trying to figure out what works/doesn’t work. Literally had to stop myself from starting a conversation with “wow, your head is getting really tan and shiny” to a bald man. Filter activated. I just stared at him, thought it through and then walked away instead. I consider that a win.

 Exit:

 Because I’m consistently inconsistent, it only makes sense that I’m a social person who’s socially awkward. Im okay 25% of the time( perhaps I’m being generous); then there’s moments where my social skills fail me. I had a recent conversation that was pretty heavy for the person on the other side that I wanted to encourage ....after some time , it was time for me to go and I literally just said “well”, and then I walked away...i froze and I couldn’t think of anything to add to “well”, but my feet were already in motion. I think I need to work on my entrance and exit strategies (amongst many other things). I apologize to everyone who’s had to converse with me, it’s not you, it’s me...I’m just not always so great at it and I sometimes walk away mumbling “what is wrong with you??” to myself. 🙂

 2 weeks later... Talking to some very friendly elderly neighbors I passed on my walk yesterday evening. I’ve noticed a few things about myself as I’m focused on my convo entrance/exits. Because I sincerely suck at exiting conversations, I’ll just keep rambling on and on because I don’t know how to get out of it. I probably wanted to quit the conversation 10 minutes ago, I just didn’t know how to. 

 So I’m in the road conversing with this nice couple, rambling like an idiot about my cats and God knows what else . Simultaneously, I’m trying to recall the well executed exit strategy I’d heard recently...how did that go again?? clap my hands one time , then say “well I’m going to grab some coffee for intermission now.” 

 Shoot, no that won’t make any sense, it’s nearly 9 pm...what kind of psychopath drinks coffee at 9 pm? Coffee does actually sound pretty good right now , I wonder if Starbucks is still open? Oh wait, what are they saying to me right now? Did they just ask me a question? How can I end this?!?!

 So please for the love, if I’m rambling on and the conversation, per usual, has clearly passed its expiration date, just do me a favor ( if you’re ever unfortunate enough to be in one of these conversations with me)...wrap it up for me...I’m terrible at it. Give me like the finger in the air swirl or something. I’ll probably say “well” and then walk away and you will have succeeded.

My Mormon Church experience

We are terrible people. We were graciously invited to my friends church yesterday to hear him speak. Our church didn’t have Bible study this week so we had a chance to jet to his church and hear him speak and still make our 11 am service on time. 

 We sat down in this brightly lit room and their worship started. They don't play instruments, it was all singing. Let me tell you, these people ALL sounded like angels. It was incredible, I’ve never in my life heard so many people in one room with vocal chords that worked so well.

 We both have awful singing voices . Without the loud speakers and instruments to drown our voices out, we could both hear each other…and it was bad. So we’re sitting there (it’s a sit and sing church) , holding a music sheet singing along and Jeff starts giggling because we sound so bad in contrast to the people around us. It was noticeably bad. 

 Then Jeff started giggling. That made me giggle. The fact that we were giggling made us both giggle more . I whispered to him not to giggle again, I tried to stop it. He tried, but every 7 seconds he would giggle again until I was in an uncontrollable laughing fit. 

 During my laughing fit, Im sobering up to the fact that the lyrics being sung by the angelic voices around us are about Jesus’ horrific bloody agonizing death on the cross on our behalf….while we’re laughing. I realize how completely inappropriate it is to be laughing during THIS particular song…and somehow, in addition to us both causing each other to laugh, the gravity of the situation makes us both laugh harder. We’re both in an all out laughing fit…I’m laughing so hard, I was actually crying… I had to put my head between my knees to try and contain myself…..several times.

 This goes in my top ten Jens an idiot moments of my life, and there are plenty of moments. We just couldn’t stop. Yes I apologized to my friend…he said he didn’t notice. 

Y’all can’t take us anywhere. Where is the worst place you found yourself in a derailed giggle fit? Any funerals??

What color is Jesus?

I read a proclamation on social media not long ago from a pastor ...it went something like this “my leader is a brown Jewish man named Jesus”. 

 First, It’s awesome that someone will openly admit to following Jesus and commit their life to preaching Gods Word ( their feet are beautiful!) 

Second, it’s entirely possible that Jesus was “brown”. I went to Hebrew school with a sect of Ethiopians who were Jewish and very dark skinned. But He also may have been “white”, as many Jewish people are. The Bible doesn’t tell us his skin color...either way, and I think the omission of it is worth noting. It only tells us that he was despised and rejected, that He had no beauty that we should desire Him( Isaiah 53).

 I understand the sentiments of a white gentile believer wanting to add that Jesus was “brown”. You’re trying to break the American church away from the perception of Jesus looking like a Swedish tennis player and crush racism , I get it. It’s just that the scriptures don’t say that...just as they don’t say He was “white”. Maybe we don’t need to add to Gods Word? . Perhaps it is Intentional He didn’t tell us . The Lords focus has never been on outward appearance...it’s always our hearts. 

 Will you still follow Him if He’s white? Will you still follow Him if He’s black? That’s the heart issue. No need to add to Jesus to serve itching ears...Hes enough and so is His Word.

 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Why dogs need seatbelts

Rubys growing up, 12.5 pounds! I took her for a car ride to Rycengas last week to drop off samples. When I opened my driver side door to get out she leaped from the passenger seat right out the door and ran into the road between Home Depot and Rycengas. I almost had a heart attack. By the grace of God there were no cars on the road which is a downright miracle because that’s always a busy road filled with every kind of vehicle and semi trucks! She circled back and ran towards Rycenga. I was frantic trying to figure out what I’d do when she ran back towards the road again; I’d have to halt traffic and chase her mangy red self weaving in and out of cars until I could catch her...which I might never be able to do. 

 It was in that moment of anticipating the looming disaster that a gentlemen walked out of Rycenga. This caused Ruby to race towards him with fanatic ecstasy, feverishly wagging her tail, jumping all over his lower extremities and also peeing with excitement all over his legs and shoes. “Please grab her if you can, she jumped out of my car!” I screamed in the middle of my panic attack. 

 I was fortunate he was laughing the entire time, He hadn’t realized just yet she’d peed all over him. He grabbed Ruby for me. I thanked him profusely, apologized profusely for her bladder control, and then stuffed her back in my minivan . She is never allowed to leave the house again and I have 10 more grey hairs than I did the week before. This dog is exhausting!!!