When Darby and Cooper were almost a year old I noticed something wasn't quite right. They didn't seem to notice or care if you came or went. They didn't make very good eye contact and wouldn't lift their hands out and up for us to pick them up. Their pediatrician insisted I call the group "Early on". They came to our house with their notepads, questions, and bubbles and watched their interaction( well, lack of). At the end of the visit it was clear that both my boys were displaying multiple red flags for autism.
The first week I just cried, and cried, and then cried some more. I was a wreck. It's been almost a year since their first early on visit, since then they've had several. They've definately made some progess, but still have a long way to go. Darby says "Hi" now and Cooper claps his hands. Those were HUGE milestones for them.
It's been rough again lately. I really have to accept where they are and go from there. But where do we go? Thats the most frustrating thing about it. Some kids with autism turn out fine and are able to join a regualr classroom. Some autistic kids never talk and never recover. I just don't know what their future will be. it breaks my heart. But at some point I've got to quit crying, and start accepting.
Father God,
Please help me accept that My dreams for my boys have been replaced with YOUR plan. Your plan is more challenging but offers eternal rewards that I can't see. I will praise you in my sadness and trust that you know what you're doing. Please give me eyes to see. Guide my steps, light my path, as I raise Darby and Cooper. Lord, wipe my tears and strengthen my heart so I
can keep it together and raise these boys to become God glorifiers. Please use my boys to glorify your name and heal them in your way. Keep them and bless them all the days they walk this earth. I trust you.
The first week I just cried, and cried, and then cried some more. I was a wreck. It's been almost a year since their first early on visit, since then they've had several. They've definately made some progess, but still have a long way to go. Darby says "Hi" now and Cooper claps his hands. Those were HUGE milestones for them.
It's been rough again lately. I really have to accept where they are and go from there. But where do we go? Thats the most frustrating thing about it. Some kids with autism turn out fine and are able to join a regualr classroom. Some autistic kids never talk and never recover. I just don't know what their future will be. it breaks my heart. But at some point I've got to quit crying, and start accepting.
Father God,
Please help me accept that My dreams for my boys have been replaced with YOUR plan. Your plan is more challenging but offers eternal rewards that I can't see. I will praise you in my sadness and trust that you know what you're doing. Please give me eyes to see. Guide my steps, light my path, as I raise Darby and Cooper. Lord, wipe my tears and strengthen my heart so I
can keep it together and raise these boys to become God glorifiers. Please use my boys to glorify your name and heal them in your way. Keep them and bless them all the days they walk this earth. I trust you.
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