Born Hated

I met my friend Precious at a bible study. It was a group of girls I didn't meet with regularly but somehow I was invited to this gal Danny's house and so I showed up, a little late. By the time I walked in the door they were already immersed in greetings and catching up and just diving into some worship. We were in a little 1950's ranch house , Michigan,  late February...snow still on the icy ground, but enough winter to just make everything look a little dirty and cold outside. The house filled with gals who love Jesus sitting on couches and chairs pulled in from the small dining area, all over an old wooden floor with toddler toys tucked away in the corners. There was one open seat on a big upholstered chair, it was seated next to a wooden dining room table chair where Precious sat.
A quick introduction was made. "Jen, this is Precious....we just met her yesterday while having coffee at a supermarket" Precious seemed a bit shy and uncomfortable in this setting. Who wouldn't?...a room full of singing and laughing Jesus freak white girls  you met just the day before. Precious was from an entirely different world...a 22 year old black gal from Muskegon heights who has stories that most of us can't even comprehend. Her world consisted of parents who hated her, blamed her, gang life, drugs, gaming the system, growing up with unspeakable horrors, and violence. Her life  was changed when she met a white woman, Natalie,  at the rescue mission who eventually adopted her as a late teenager and told her about Jesus. So she was open to white girls and Jesus, just not quite comfortable in such a scene.

Right away I noticed Precious sounded like she was having trouble breathing and I asked if she had a cold. The other gals piped up on her behalf. "So, Precious is allergic to dogs and Danny has a dog, but we took care of it...that's why the windows are opened (and its freezing in here!) We're trying to let the room air out. Precious seemed to go along with this plan, I was like "okay, sure, sounds like its under control."

So Danny starts strumming her acoustic and the girls start singing worship songs...a few minutes in...I just notice.....
 Man,  this girl is just laboring hard to breath, it seemed to be getting worse and worse. She sounded like a fish out of water. So I piped up: "Stop the Jesus music...Danny, do you have Benadryl in the house? This open window, lets air the place out business isn't working".  "Yea that's a good idea" someone said and everyone seemed to agree given Precious' obvious deteriorating condition. Danny scurried to the kitchen a few steps away and we could hear her rifling  through the cabinets but she came up empty handed. Again, they said "well the windows are open so it should get better." What I would later find out is that opening a window in a house with animals only makes things worse. The dog hairs and allergen causing animal particles just get stirred up by the moving air now moving about the room.

"I'm taking her to the store to get some Benadryl, lets go Precious"...Precious looked relieved, she could barely talk.  The girls started praying for healing for her and wanted to lay hands on her. I so appreciate prayer and believe wholly in the power of Gods responding to our petitions...but in the moment it seemed absurd. Here this gal didn't need us calling out to Jesus or us  laying  hands on her to breath again, she needed to get out of that house with animal particles floating around that she was allergic to!...the common sense nature of the situation seemed to escape everyone there.

We left and headed to the  closest store, a Meijer's maybe four  miles away, a decent 12 minute drive. Precious couldn't even talk she was laboring so hard to get breath. We got to Meijer's, we got her the Benadryl and she started recovering. When she could speak again....she thanked me for getting her out of there...she said "Man, if I had been in that house for five minutes longer, I would have passed out dead on the floor". I asked "Why didn't you say something?!". I'll never forget her response: " I didn't want to interrupt their bible study, I don't really know those girls". I said "Precious...if you DIE at their bible study, that's a major interruption!!" Needless to say, I liked Precious right away....cause who the hell is going to just die at a bible study to not interrupt a bunch of white girls, she clearly was crazy...and that's my kind of friend:)

I don't know how much time passed between Precious' near death experience at Danny's bible study and my next visit to Jericho road where she was going with some of those gals but eventually I was there, and I saw the only person Gods ever given me an opportunity to save from dying. I invited her to Panera after church. We sat down and talked about all kinds of things. This girl started to tell me her unbelievable and uncomprehendable story...its a testimony unfolding.

Precious was "born hated" (she would later describe it to me in those words). Her parents young when they had her, maybe 16 & 20 years old and she had asthma, she was born premature weighing only 2 1/2 pounds. In 1987, living in Muskegon heights, the doctors told her parents she would have a lifetime of disabilities. She had frequent breathing problems and ended up in the doctors office and hospital often. She had to wear a breathing machine. Her young parents were mortified and embarrassed by her. They argued about who would go to doctor visits and who would be seen in public with her and that breathing machine. They likely would have given her away but were told at some point if they kept her, they would receive a decent social security check for her disabilities every month. Both parents did drugs and drank, her dad barely worked and her mom would do "tricks" for extra money...bringing young Precious along so her dad wouldn't be suspicious. The burden of Precious became valuable like a commodity, a way to earn money. She was quarantined to her bedroom in the back of the house and the parents went on to have three more "normal" children in the subsequent years.
Because of her social security check and claim by the medical professionals that Precious would never be normal...she was always treated as such. She was later diagnosed as adhd, her parents frequently called her dumb and slow, and Precious believed this lie. When things escalated between her parents, her mother frequently stepping out with other men on her dad...her dad eventually turned to Precious for his sexual gratification...she was only 4 years old. Her dad used the typical threats of violence child molesters use  telling her he's kill her and drown her in the lake if she ever told anyone.
precious got quiet.

The family might have had their suspicions, that's debatable, but the parents would claim she was just slow and mildly retarded. This continued for years through the public school system. Precious stayed in special education classes where other students would mock her and she was embarrassed.
Knowing Precious now...today she is 28 years old...she's a beautiful, creative, bigger than life personality gal who God called out as his own. Its miraculous that she can sit and tell me this story in her right mind with her history of parental abuse.

The rape went on until she was 14 years old and ran away to a neighbors house shaking with fear and screaming for help finally breaking her silence to her horrified neighbors down the street. "My dad raped me and beat me and I just ran away!. A few seconds later her mother was pounding on the door to drag her back home to her father, which she did. Her dad tried to bribe her into not telling anyone, he promised to give her anything she wanted, but it was too late...the police were pounding on the door and her dad was arrested. The police found 2 notebooks that precious had kept detailing her life of abuse at the hands of her father. It was 200 pages of evidence used in court to convict her father of a 14 year sentence. He gets out next year.

Her mother blamed her for wrecking her marriage...a month later her mom had a new man in her house  and they moved away so Precious  wouldn't wreck her new relationship too. To give you a glimpse of the awfulness of it all...when her mom stumbled upon her journal she couldn't read well but she could read enough  and the revelation of abuse was made known...precious' dad had been ill with a fever. Her mom took her aside and asked  "I need to know if this real (what) you wrote" Precious head fell down and she played with her hands not knowing what to say because she knew whatever she said that what her dad was doing to her was wrong....."He did fuck you, he touch you" her mother said when Precious' silence was deafening and her silence answered her mothers worst fears.

Today, the rest of the family still rejects Precious, her siblings who didn't suffer the physical and sexual abuse of their father had more love and affection given to them and were clueless of the hell Precious lived. Even with her father being sentenced, the family and mother still blame Precious. With his release comin up, they actually tease her about it jokingly  "Hes gonna be out soon, what you gonna do"?