My love's, my heart

There was a long period...Many years actually where my ex husband talked excessively to my twins about what a terrible person I was. He would complain about how I took all his money and he couldn't afford food or toys for the boys. The idea was to get them on "his side" by making them feel sorry for him.

For five years I've worked to have us both as parents be on "their side"...When I left the marriage, I left all the troubles that came with it...I had no time for resentment or anger and alot of hope in getting down to the real business of growing up and loving these boys . But he was so angry about the divorce his main priority seemed to be to tear down their relationship with me so they would like him more, it was a competition to him. He wanted them to hate me as much as he did. Darby saw through it pretty early although he still really felt bad for his dad and worried about him excessively . It did cause him alot of anxiety but he still always loved and trusted us despite the things his dad would say.

The damage was more evident in Cooper, who for four years had a simmering distrust towards me. While Darby has always been affectionate towards me, Cooper was more reserved...Refusing to give me kisses and reluctantly giving me hugs. Even though every night before bed both were offered, he'd usually give me a reluctant hug and cover his head with blankets before I could give him a kiss on the head.
The same was true in the mornings, I never made a big deal Of it.... For years now I would just give him a hug and i might sneak in a kiss if he wasn't paying attention and stand at the door waving until his bus left the neighborhood...So round 1 waves, then round two after the bus did a loop around Suffolk Rd. To leave the sub division.
Here we are in the second half of third grade, five years into this thing (divorce) and Cooper will now  run up to me and give me a kiss and a hug when his bus gets here....All on his own. I'm so so thankful for that.
As I stood by the door waving as they settled on to  Tim and Linda's bus, I just wanted time to slow down, simmering in that moment, these very precious moments that will be gone too soon and I'll cherish forever.  Thankyou God for them.