The last few years we've seen our beloved grandpa deteriorate more and more into dementia. His hearing loss and our chaotic family environment (loudmouthed highly communicative Jewish family) has made it difficult to have normal conversations and really engage with him. Usually we're all together having bagels at the grandparents house, we're all talking and my grandpa sits by and watches, none of us are sure if he knows fully what is going on or if his hearing aids are ever going to work properly again. We all try to talk to him but its difficult and unclear if he has any clue what we're actually saying.
I've prayed and looked for ways to converse with my grandpa about the King of the Jews, the saving Messiah, Jesus (or Yeshua as the messianic Jews would correct me). It feels like its a battle I've been losing for many years. I have strong convictions from God and little opportunity or fear holding me back. Earlier this year on a warm spring day when we were leaving my grandparents house in West Bloomfield to head back home to West Michigan, my grandpa came outside and stood in the driveway in the sunshine waving goodbye as we drove away. I'll never forget the scene and my broken heart...Id wanted to share eternity with him but couldn't, once again, on that trip which occurred to me could easily have been the last time Id see him alive. I prayed for God to make a way in what seemed impossible. To have grace on my dear Grandpa and give him dreams or visions to make Yeshua known to him, to give him a chance! Can I stand in the gap for my grandpa God? What does that even mean God? what is this gap? I left that day and cried for the first several minutes at the thought of my grandpa separated from God forever and my inability and defeat in sharing what God impressed upon my heart for so many years. I failed.
In the months surrounding that day, Id left a bible for my grandparents on one trip, so it was there in their living room and my grandpa is an avid reader, perhaps he'd pick up the book read it and gain understanding. I'd feel inspired, then call my grandma and ask her to read certain passages of the bible....Id send her to the book of revelation to read about heaven and she'd say "maybe later" although I knew later would never come. Once I was at home reflecting on a joke my grandfather told me as a young child, seven or so years old....
"A flood came to a certain mans house, but the man was assured that he would be fine...that God would save him. Soon the water was up to his chest and a canoe came along to rescue the man...but he waved the canoe on exclaiming to the canoeman ..."thanks for the offer but not necessary, the Lord will save me"....A while later the waters rose and the man found himself standing on the roof of his house. A motorboat approached him to rescue but again he exclaimed. "Move along and no thankyou, the Lord will save me". Before long the water continuing to rise was at the nape of the mans neck...a helicopter hovered above him dropping a rescue ladder, but the man again waved them off exclaiming " no thankyou! I dont need you, the Lord will save me!" The inevitable happened, the water rose covering the man and he drowned. Soon, he was standing before God and angrily he asked the Lord...."why didn't you save me?! to which God replied..."I sent you a canoe, a motorboat and a helicopter and you refused!
I've heard many jokes in my lifetime, all of them forgotten, but for some reason this is the one that stuck with me my entire life. It occurred to me that Jesus is the canoe, the motorboat and the helicopter. Jesus is the rescue God sent and we have no right to be angry with God for refusing this help he sent us when we stand before him. I had to call my grandma and tell her my discovery. I pleaded with her to tell my grandpa that Jesus is the rescue that God sent and tell him about the joke I remembered for so long...but she waived me off and exclaimed "no thank you, we don't need Him, God will save us".
Since the Spring, my mom has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and surgical complications in biopsy resulted in a major abdominal surgery that sent her to a rehab clinic to recover to get strong for her looming battle against one of the worst cancers known.
A few days after she was in rehab, my grandfather lost his balance and fell breaking his neck. My grandmother tried to turn the ambulance away asking the fireman to just put him back to bed. By Gods grace, he instead urged her to have him taken to the hospital for evaluation on account of his age. Thank God she did, because he would never have made it through the night with his broken neck. He spent one night in ER and they sent him to rehab the following day, right down the hall from my mother, his daughter.
Jeff, my husband, and I came down on a Friday night to relieve some other family members who live here and have been working around the clock to support my mom and grandparents. Friday we sat in his room. CNN playing loudly on the television. Even at home, CNN would always be on the television, he spends hours everyday just sitting and absorbing the content. He had trouble distinguishing the people on CNN from the people in the room. He was asking everyone if they "knew"...he surmised that no one "knew" except Jeff, who was the smartest man in the country. We had no idea what he was talking about, but we played along with him. He kept telling Jeff what a nice home he had, believing the rehab was Jeffs home. When a commercial would come on he would ask Jeff..."is that your sister"...he believed anyone on tv was somehow related to Jeff. He could actually hear well, in the quietness of his rehab room, unlike other conversations we've had the last several years, but conversation was obviously tough because he seemed to be in a different world. Any door I had to share eternity with my grandpa seemed entirely shut. I drove to my moms house that night praying "God, I can't do this...its impossible! You're going to have to do this...I have no idea how to do anything in this situation, he is not mentally here. this is on YOU Lord to reach him, its beyond my ability".
The very next day was Sunday morning, July 30, 2017. At 9:43 a.m.I received this text from my mom....
"Grandpas attending church down the hall"
I replied "you're kidding, I wont tell Grandma"
my mom : "I know, they asked me if it was okay, they asked him if he wanted to go, and he said yes"
me "more answered prayers"
My 93 year old Jewish grandfather who has never been to church in his entire life went to church, in rehab.
When I showed up later that day I asked the little Phillipino nurse about it...she was worried I would be angry..."I tried to tell him, you're Jewish, you cant go but he kept asking to go...I said no no you're Jewish!, so I asked your mom and she said its okay. He asked a lot of questions, he was so engaged!"
I never met the people who took him to church and I didn't bring it up to my grandpa...but every day since Sunday I would talk to him, take him outside for walks in the sunshine. He was more and more engaged. By Wednesday and Thursday I was having normal conversations with him....conversations I haven't been able to have with him in at least six years. He talked about his childhood, his mother, his father, working at Ford Motor Company. We discussed music, pianos, my family, his colorblindness. I had brought along the boys Enchroma glasses for colorblind people and he tried them on. We walked around and looked at the fabulous artwork along the hallways Maple Manor rehab and I pointed out what pink, green, purple, and red looked like. "That's pink? I thought that was blue"..."No grandpa, that is what Pink looks like, and this is orange, this is the color of a sunset!"
I left Thursday but before I left I stopped at Maple Manor. My grandmother was supposed to be there that morning so I thought again I would miss my opportunity to discuss eternity and the promises of God with him. But she didn't show up. My mom was there but she wasn't feeling well so she went back to her own room. My grandfather brought up the Christians that took him to church after we talked for some time. I had a chance to explain the gospel of grace to my grandfather. He completely understood his sin nature. My grandfather who is actually what the world would call "a good guy" could easily say he wasn't perfect and could recognize his own sin. We talked about CNN and what we knew the world was like, about human nature, even the two of us sitting there, how we were sinners. I talked about the sin in us and and how we all die as a result of our sin since our separation from God in the Garden of Eden. I talked about Jesus' sacrificial atoning sin for us on the cross and his resurrection and victory over death so that when we die, if we believe in his atonement on our behalf and His resurrection, when we believe and understand that God himself took our deserved wrath, we too are raised with Him, with God himself. My grandpa asked about being born again and I explained physical birth, physical death, spiritual death and spiritual life...a spiritual rebirth in Jesus" He looked directly at me and told me I was the only one he trusted. He brought up the colorblind glasses, how he could "see" colors. and he wondered if it was like that.
I know he's frustrated by the confinement of the wheelchair he's continually asking to get out of. I told him that when we believe and look to the messiah we are given a new body in heaven after our physical death, he will be running and walking again forever with God. "So just listen to the nurses and doctors when they tell you not to stand, its just for now Grandpa, but in eternity you will walk and run forever. There will be no more pain, no more death, no more tears, no more sin, no more wheelchairs and neck braces...no more terrible stories on CNN. And the colors, oh the colors grandpa will be even greater than what you saw with those glasses the other day." I shared it all and what he has to look forward too in our Messiah. He told me "the man" (the church missionary he spoke with) was very well educated and made a lot of sense, but then the women who came after him was more pushy...now this was great because it instantly reminded me of a theme in my grandpas life.
My grandfather is notorious for one thing...being pushy about sharing his food. If he has a dessert, a meal, a glass of wine...or anything in front of him that he loved, he would want you to try it. And if you said no thank you , he would just keep on asking and explaining why you should try it. That fork full of pie would be in your face until you either tried it or he eventually wore out ; which could take upwards of 60 minutes. Once he was at a restaurant with my mom and a few other family members. He had ordered a very expensive glass of red wine. Now my mother who hates red wine refused the offer to try it. But of course he kept pushing her. "You have to try this wine Pat, try it, just try it!" My mom was so annoyed, she grabbed that glass of wine and guzzled it like it was water and she just finished a marathon. My grandfather just sat there stunned and eventually miserable. His exorbitantly priced cherished glass of wine was gone. My mom thought she would teach him a lesson! So I used that analogy for him of wanting to share something we just KNOW is so good. I told my grandfather the woman, that pushy church woman, she had a really good dessert she wanted to share with my grandpa her "pushiness" was all well intended. I told him what psalm 34:8 of the Hebrew scriptures says:
"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."
God is BIG and mighty and amazing....I give HIM all the glory and honor, he does what man cannot do, He does what I cannot do.
"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
-Matthew 19:26
Thank you God for your miracles, thank you for giving me peace, thank you for making a way for me to one day see my grandpa again.
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