I was in the bathroom downstairs when Cooper started yelling for me from upstairs. Darby was at the bottom of the steps so he mustered up his best impression of my voice to answer Cooper...for some reason in his version of me I have a southern drawl and a whispery antabellum voice. “Yes Cooper?”...”you know Cooper you’re my least favorite son...I like Darby the best, then Miles. I think you’re kind of an idiot. I really wish I’d never had you”
So much for brotherly love, smh.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Civil infractions
So I'm at the court house to fight this speeding ticket today. My court time listed is at 2:15 in courtroom 1B. The clerks tell me to sit in the hallway outside the courtroom and wait until 2:15 to go in. I navigate down the hallway, and right outside courtroom 1B, there's an entire wedding party congregating. There must have been at least 15 or 16 people/family members there to celebrate this older couples wedding.
They were all taking turns taking pictures of each other and I gathered the wedding had just taken place.....in the same courtroom I was about to go fight this traffic ticket in. I offered to take a picture of them all, but they declined. It felt kind of weird being there in my big stupid winter coat and jeans holding a traffic ticket in my hand while standing next to these people who had just embarked on this sacred journey at life together with all their kids and family around them.
So, the police officer shows up at like 2:02, and I'm like "shoot, I was really hoping you had the flu or something today"...he told me he'd had the flu the week before unfortunately for me and the timing of this court date. He's my neighborhood cop, and a good guy..I told him the only hopes I had at winning this case would be a dismissal if he hadn't showed up. So we're talking about points on licenses and all this stuff and he's telling me to to ask the judge about that class you can take online and all. At about 2:13 he says, "lets go in, the judge will see us and come out " so we both head in and sit on the left side together and keep chatting.
So the judge comes in a minute later, and all of a sudden, this entire wedding troupe comes through the door to get married. All of them........ and me, and Officer Lopez. So I'm like "shouldn't we leave?" to Officer Lopez, and he's like "no, its a public courtroom".
I felt so awkward being there. They're all talking and hugging and excited, and getting situated and sort of looking over at me and Lopez and wrapping their heads around the realization that we're in this thing with them and you know, that's the sacrifice you make when you decide to get married in a courthouse.
"Are you sure we should be here? I feel like we shouldn't be here"..."no, you're fine" Officer Lopez assures me.
If It wasn't awkward enough, it didn't help when the judge of courtroom 1B shouted out to the people about to get married who were talking with all their friends and family in the back of the courtroom "Hey, can you get up here and start, I'm running behind schedule" . I cringed...me and my puffy coat and jeans clinging my traffic ticket in my right hand.
We watched the whole wedding, it was beautiful. The groom cried, the bride was solid; no tears from her wells. It was interrupted slightly by the other two couples that came in halfway through with their own traffic violations. According to officer Lopez, those were much worse than mine...they were looking at several points for their infractions. They looked pretty rough on the outside, but I felt a little more at ease about my own presence in that courtroom when they added themselves.
So I lost the traffic case. But, I did get to awkwardly insert myself into these complete strangers wedding, so how about that? If I had to draw a moral to this story it would be this: if you're low on cash and you really want to get married , opt for a drunk Elvis in Vegas, or your parents backyard, or BW3's with a minister who got his right to do nuptials on the internet....Please do it ANYWHERE except that courthouse!! I'm sorry strangers for cheapening your vows today, I was just trying to keep my insurance rates down!!
When leaving the courthouse, I ran into a small crowd of spectators staring at a robot rolling around and its programmer with a remote in his hand showing off its features. It dances and can tell you what courtroom you're in. They were talking about ideas in programming the robot to be site specific to the courthouse. I suggested it comfort people who just lost their case by making them a margarita and saying things like "you should have gotten a better lawyer". So if this ever comes to fruition, you'll know who to thank next time you leave the courthouse crying with a Margarita in your hand. It would have been a huge help for that couple that just got married...it could have thrown rice in their faces as they left the building through the security checkpoint.
They were all taking turns taking pictures of each other and I gathered the wedding had just taken place.....in the same courtroom I was about to go fight this traffic ticket in. I offered to take a picture of them all, but they declined. It felt kind of weird being there in my big stupid winter coat and jeans holding a traffic ticket in my hand while standing next to these people who had just embarked on this sacred journey at life together with all their kids and family around them.
So, the police officer shows up at like 2:02, and I'm like "shoot, I was really hoping you had the flu or something today"...he told me he'd had the flu the week before unfortunately for me and the timing of this court date. He's my neighborhood cop, and a good guy..I told him the only hopes I had at winning this case would be a dismissal if he hadn't showed up. So we're talking about points on licenses and all this stuff and he's telling me to to ask the judge about that class you can take online and all. At about 2:13 he says, "lets go in, the judge will see us and come out " so we both head in and sit on the left side together and keep chatting.
So the judge comes in a minute later, and all of a sudden, this entire wedding troupe comes through the door to get married. All of them........ and me, and Officer Lopez. So I'm like "shouldn't we leave?" to Officer Lopez, and he's like "no, its a public courtroom".
I felt so awkward being there. They're all talking and hugging and excited, and getting situated and sort of looking over at me and Lopez and wrapping their heads around the realization that we're in this thing with them and you know, that's the sacrifice you make when you decide to get married in a courthouse.
"Are you sure we should be here? I feel like we shouldn't be here"..."no, you're fine" Officer Lopez assures me.
If It wasn't awkward enough, it didn't help when the judge of courtroom 1B shouted out to the people about to get married who were talking with all their friends and family in the back of the courtroom "Hey, can you get up here and start, I'm running behind schedule" . I cringed...me and my puffy coat and jeans clinging my traffic ticket in my right hand.
We watched the whole wedding, it was beautiful. The groom cried, the bride was solid; no tears from her wells. It was interrupted slightly by the other two couples that came in halfway through with their own traffic violations. According to officer Lopez, those were much worse than mine...they were looking at several points for their infractions. They looked pretty rough on the outside, but I felt a little more at ease about my own presence in that courtroom when they added themselves.
So I lost the traffic case. But, I did get to awkwardly insert myself into these complete strangers wedding, so how about that? If I had to draw a moral to this story it would be this: if you're low on cash and you really want to get married , opt for a drunk Elvis in Vegas, or your parents backyard, or BW3's with a minister who got his right to do nuptials on the internet....Please do it ANYWHERE except that courthouse!! I'm sorry strangers for cheapening your vows today, I was just trying to keep my insurance rates down!!
When leaving the courthouse, I ran into a small crowd of spectators staring at a robot rolling around and its programmer with a remote in his hand showing off its features. It dances and can tell you what courtroom you're in. They were talking about ideas in programming the robot to be site specific to the courthouse. I suggested it comfort people who just lost their case by making them a margarita and saying things like "you should have gotten a better lawyer". So if this ever comes to fruition, you'll know who to thank next time you leave the courthouse crying with a Margarita in your hand. It would have been a huge help for that couple that just got married...it could have thrown rice in their faces as they left the building through the security checkpoint.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
the physics
Cooper has this new word he tries to casually throw around.
Last week he opened the back door to snow and remarked "I don't understand the physics of this earth; how can it be warm outside and snowing?"
Today he's talking to Darby about his grade on his math test. Darbys unhappy he got a 90% which is still an A-...Cooper told him "You don't understand the physics of the grade"
Last week he opened the back door to snow and remarked "I don't understand the physics of this earth; how can it be warm outside and snowing?"
Today he's talking to Darby about his grade on his math test. Darbys unhappy he got a 90% which is still an A-...Cooper told him "You don't understand the physics of the grade"
Friday, November 9, 2018
Geograbee Darby and the pursuit of $50k
It's 5th grade, Darby has recently settled on becoming an engineer one day. He's getting anxious about the costs of college, and considering playing tennis in hopes of earning a scholarship.
This week, they started a Geograbee....If anyone makes it through the one week round and answers the geography questions correctly, they go on to another round, and another until they get to the finalists round. The winner at the end of this is awarded $50k is college tuition. Darby was REALLY excited about this...this could solve all his worries if he won! He's passed the last few days, but he needs to make it through todays round and he's overly anxious he might miss out. I told him he needs to get really good at losing before he gets good at winning. Successful people are always successful losers first. Get good at losing and you'll get even better at succeeding one day.
Now, he's thinking maybe he'll be a scientist instead of an engineer....but of course he's worried about the costs of schooling for scientists as well and wants to know how much money it will be. My job is to let him know we'll figure out a way...he would make a great engineer, and a great scientist , and a great everything if he continues working hard in school. How did this kid get so anxious about his future and money? Totally different then Cooper.
This week, they started a Geograbee....If anyone makes it through the one week round and answers the geography questions correctly, they go on to another round, and another until they get to the finalists round. The winner at the end of this is awarded $50k is college tuition. Darby was REALLY excited about this...this could solve all his worries if he won! He's passed the last few days, but he needs to make it through todays round and he's overly anxious he might miss out. I told him he needs to get really good at losing before he gets good at winning. Successful people are always successful losers first. Get good at losing and you'll get even better at succeeding one day.
Now, he's thinking maybe he'll be a scientist instead of an engineer....but of course he's worried about the costs of schooling for scientists as well and wants to know how much money it will be. My job is to let him know we'll figure out a way...he would make a great engineer, and a great scientist , and a great everything if he continues working hard in school. How did this kid get so anxious about his future and money? Totally different then Cooper.
Coopers personal narrative story project grade 4
How to offend everyone; humor...we had conferences last night, Coopers teacher said Cooper was struggling to understand how to embellish his personal narrative...a story based on something that happened to him. The teacher told him it was okay to embellish or make stuff up that didn't happen to make his story better, so the teacher typed in some details while Cooper watched and Coopers jaw dropped. Cooper explained..."but thats not true, that didn't happen". His teacher explained to him (and us last night) how it is okay to make stuff up and lie when you're writing your story so its more exciting.
I mean how could I NOT say "oh , you're training up future Mainstream media journalists"...the resource room teacher got it right away and had a good laugh, Coopers teacher was thrown off his kilter a bit, lol. I said "Im sorry, I should have set the joke up better for you and had you insert the media of your choice... so he blurted out "Fox news" and that seemed to make him feel better, lol :)
I left feeling proud of my kid for knowing whats good and whats not good, he might make a good journalist after all some day ..... just the facts ma' am, just the facts.
I mean how could I NOT say "oh , you're training up future Mainstream media journalists"...the resource room teacher got it right away and had a good laugh, Coopers teacher was thrown off his kilter a bit, lol. I said "Im sorry, I should have set the joke up better for you and had you insert the media of your choice... so he blurted out "Fox news" and that seemed to make him feel better, lol :)
I left feeling proud of my kid for knowing whats good and whats not good, he might make a good journalist after all some day ..... just the facts ma' am, just the facts.
Thursday, November 8, 2018
The test
I sat at the polls in ferrysburg Tuesday as poll challenger for five hours. Legally, I can’t talk to the voters...which makes it awkward when people say hi and start talking to you.
Anyways, I’m sitting at a table next to this really sweet poll worker who’d been showing me pictures of her grandkids and new craft room for almost an hour, when this man walked up to us with his ballot . She asks how he’s doing and he responds that he has cancer, but then continues by telling us it’s okay, better him than his kids; And your heart just melts for him...what a sweet response.
He goes on to say:
“Soon, God will ask me “were you a good person? “....And then God will ask me “who did you help”
And he was confident he could pass the goodness exam with flying colors which gave him peace about dying.
Of course, just having written my last piece about goodness...I cringed a little.
Then he handed us each a card for his life coaching services...he also does hypnotherapy to treat depression , addictions, pain etc.
I couldn’t talk, legally...so I just nodded politely. Probably a good idea though just to sit and reflect on what he’d said.
When he walked away All I could think about was the scriptures about how “good” we are...that’s why He sent Jesus to die on the cross. If we were good on our own, well then He died in vain.
I talked briefly about it with the poll worker next to me, She actually attends the same church as I...one of our pastors came through to vote and she remarked how she wished she was as “good” of a Christian as they were. Why do we do this to ourselves people?? The comparing, the goodness barometers and scales?! We just need to stop this, it’s just not true. Let’s stop comparing ourselves to one another....and start comparing ourselves to God...that’s how you get humbled quick!! And that’s where God can do His work in you.
“He opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble”
-James 4:6
“No one is righteous, no not one “
-Romans 3:10
Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone “
-Mark 10:18
( this last one people have used to say that Jesus doesn’t claim deity...read it again and try not to be presumptive about what Jesus said...focus on it and you’ll see what I mean...there are two ways to understand His statement ...is He saying :
1. Only God is good.
2. I am not good.
3. Therefore, I am not God.
or
1. Only God is good.
2. I am good.
3. Therefore, I am God.
Food for thought
Anyways, I’m sitting at a table next to this really sweet poll worker who’d been showing me pictures of her grandkids and new craft room for almost an hour, when this man walked up to us with his ballot . She asks how he’s doing and he responds that he has cancer, but then continues by telling us it’s okay, better him than his kids; And your heart just melts for him...what a sweet response.
He goes on to say:
“Soon, God will ask me “were you a good person? “....And then God will ask me “who did you help”
And he was confident he could pass the goodness exam with flying colors which gave him peace about dying.
Of course, just having written my last piece about goodness...I cringed a little.
Then he handed us each a card for his life coaching services...he also does hypnotherapy to treat depression , addictions, pain etc.
I couldn’t talk, legally...so I just nodded politely. Probably a good idea though just to sit and reflect on what he’d said.
When he walked away All I could think about was the scriptures about how “good” we are...that’s why He sent Jesus to die on the cross. If we were good on our own, well then He died in vain.
I talked briefly about it with the poll worker next to me, She actually attends the same church as I...one of our pastors came through to vote and she remarked how she wished she was as “good” of a Christian as they were. Why do we do this to ourselves people?? The comparing, the goodness barometers and scales?! We just need to stop this, it’s just not true. Let’s stop comparing ourselves to one another....and start comparing ourselves to God...that’s how you get humbled quick!! And that’s where God can do His work in you.
“He opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble”
-James 4:6
“No one is righteous, no not one “
-Romans 3:10
Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone “
-Mark 10:18
( this last one people have used to say that Jesus doesn’t claim deity...read it again and try not to be presumptive about what Jesus said...focus on it and you’ll see what I mean...there are two ways to understand His statement ...is He saying :
1. Only God is good.
2. I am not good.
3. Therefore, I am not God.
or
1. Only God is good.
2. I am good.
3. Therefore, I am God.
Food for thought
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
This election cycle I offered to help the GOP as a "poll challenger". I had no idea what this even was until last Thursday. I had the ability to challenge nefarious activity and voter fraud at the polls...I didn't do any of that. All I did was keep a list of registered Republicans who I'd cross off the list if they voted. Then, at 5 pm, I dropped my book of people who voted to the GOP so they could call the ones who didn't to remind them to vote.
The area I was sent to was a majority of white folks. I probably sat through about 300 voters passing through. Of that number there were maybe 12 people who were minorities as far as identity politics stuff goes. Latinos, some "black" folks, one arabic fellow, and a few folks of Indian ethnicity. While not even half of the white voters who came through were registered Republicans... Every single one of my minority voters in that precinct, during my 5 hour time slot, was a registered Republican. I thought that was super awesome. For all the alleged racism the republican party is blamed for against minorities,...there I was witnessing every single minority in this small slice of America totally not buying into the lie.
One other observation- some very disheveled people who look like they just rolled out of bed and haven't showered in a week, they weren't on my lists...not saying they were all democrats...I'm just saying they weren't registered republicans. It definitely picked up after 4 pm when many working people starting funneling in....about half of those were registered republicans.
The area I was sent to was a majority of white folks. I probably sat through about 300 voters passing through. Of that number there were maybe 12 people who were minorities as far as identity politics stuff goes. Latinos, some "black" folks, one arabic fellow, and a few folks of Indian ethnicity. While not even half of the white voters who came through were registered Republicans... Every single one of my minority voters in that precinct, during my 5 hour time slot, was a registered Republican. I thought that was super awesome. For all the alleged racism the republican party is blamed for against minorities,...there I was witnessing every single minority in this small slice of America totally not buying into the lie.
One other observation- some very disheveled people who look like they just rolled out of bed and haven't showered in a week, they weren't on my lists...not saying they were all democrats...I'm just saying they weren't registered republicans. It definitely picked up after 4 pm when many working people starting funneling in....about half of those were registered republicans.
Friday, November 2, 2018
Being Good
Recently someone left me a facebook comment telling me what a good person I was. I have to be completely honest, comments like that make me feel really great for a few seconds and then reality sets in and I start to feel terribly uncomfortable and it stays with me. When someone says something like that to me..."you're a good person Jen" , I start feeling this enormous pressure to keep up with some charade I know I'll ultimately fail at. Why? Because I'm not good, none of us are. Jesus alone is.
I'm not saying we can't all do good things, or that I personally have never done anything good...we all know that we're capable of goodness from time to time. Even Hitler could open a door for a lady every so often and donate to a good cause right? When someone tells me I'm a good person...this weight is put on me that I know I can't bear...so I start to feel like a total and complete fraud...like they just laid this banner that says "good" above my head, and suddenly I have to keep up the appearance so I don't let them down. But I know that I will eventually let someone down.... and now I'll feel like a hypocrite even though I didn't give myself the title. So I'm tearing up the banner right now and making my public confession: I'm not good, and that's why I chose Jesus, He is. If you don't believe I'm not good, ask my husband...or my children, or anyone who's hung around me long enough to know that I fail epically and miserably from time to time.
I intentionally refuse to put my church's sticker on my minivan because I'm a notoriously bad driver. You think my social media is bad for my church's image, you should see my driving. I mean, I'm a good driver, according to my own standards, but a bad driver according to the good rule followers of West Michigan. My mom was a cabdriver in Detroit for many years when I was a kid. She drove like a Detroit cab driver....then she taught me how to drive her stick shift car like a Detroit cab driver when I was 12. Soon after, at age 13, I'd sneak out in her car on days she rode her bike to work and tool around the suburbs of Detroit with my friends. I know I've grown some in this area of driving since I was 13...at least I regularly wear a seat belt now...but, to be honest, it's only because my car beeps at me endlessly if I don't. By west Michigan standards, I'm immediately disqualified from being a good person based on my driving alone. And thats just the tip of the iceberg folks.
When my twins were young and the red flags for autism were popping up...I'd go to the park or and talk to other parents who would often tell me how amazingly brilliant their toddlers were...in advanced placement alphabet and color recognition by age 1, teaching algebra at age 4...self taught readers and prodigys! I'd listen intently but would often be distracted by my kids 10 feet away who were usually eating mulch and dirt or banging their head against something. And I totally get it...I was TOTALLY that parent with my first two kids...my twins just gave me a different reality. So, I just kind of got used to poking fun at ourselves, and completely resting on Jesus for anything good to come of us.
Jesus has been faithful and GOOD to us. All I've done is heavily relied on Him....that's been my part...that's all I bring to the relationship between God and myself, total dependence on Him. My kids are 11 now, we still have a lot to work on. But, today they read beyond their grade level and excel in almost all school subjects. I was recently told they'll likely be put in AP classes in high school, right after I was told one of them was caught with his entire sole of his shoe in his mouth. My goal has always been simple: keep them out of prison and teach them Gods Word. I don't want my kids growing up having to feel like frauds either. They're not always good either. We're all just human. We're capable of doing good things and we're equally capable of totally sucking, and failing, and sinning....and the good news? It's okay- God's not done with us.
I'll be perfect one day, ...but it won't be with my feet planted on this earth, it will be on the other side of Glory. And it definitely will not be due to my awesome resume of goodness....it will be because of Jesus' awesome record of goodness on my behalf. If you want to listen to some of my stories of how God has transformed my heart....please do because He is incredible and His Word humbles us and does continually transform and sanctify us! But, if you're looking to me like I'm the end all poster child for Christianity, please don't, you'll be disappointed, and it won't take long!!! Look past me to the one I'm looking at. He alone is good.
All that to say, please don't ever tell me I'm good...I don't need any self confidence...I need God confidence :) Remind me of how Good God is despite me. I always wince when I hear people say something like "He's a Great man of God"...and I always wish they would instead say "He's a man who serves a GREAT God". Lets lessen the burden on each other, and place it on the one who can bear the weight of the title "Good"- He's not a fraud...He's the real deal. He's the ONLY real deal. Trust in Him today, what are you waiting for?!
I'm not saying we can't all do good things, or that I personally have never done anything good...we all know that we're capable of goodness from time to time. Even Hitler could open a door for a lady every so often and donate to a good cause right? When someone tells me I'm a good person...this weight is put on me that I know I can't bear...so I start to feel like a total and complete fraud...like they just laid this banner that says "good" above my head, and suddenly I have to keep up the appearance so I don't let them down. But I know that I will eventually let someone down.... and now I'll feel like a hypocrite even though I didn't give myself the title. So I'm tearing up the banner right now and making my public confession: I'm not good, and that's why I chose Jesus, He is. If you don't believe I'm not good, ask my husband...or my children, or anyone who's hung around me long enough to know that I fail epically and miserably from time to time.
I intentionally refuse to put my church's sticker on my minivan because I'm a notoriously bad driver. You think my social media is bad for my church's image, you should see my driving. I mean, I'm a good driver, according to my own standards, but a bad driver according to the good rule followers of West Michigan. My mom was a cabdriver in Detroit for many years when I was a kid. She drove like a Detroit cab driver....then she taught me how to drive her stick shift car like a Detroit cab driver when I was 12. Soon after, at age 13, I'd sneak out in her car on days she rode her bike to work and tool around the suburbs of Detroit with my friends. I know I've grown some in this area of driving since I was 13...at least I regularly wear a seat belt now...but, to be honest, it's only because my car beeps at me endlessly if I don't. By west Michigan standards, I'm immediately disqualified from being a good person based on my driving alone. And thats just the tip of the iceberg folks.
When my twins were young and the red flags for autism were popping up...I'd go to the park or and talk to other parents who would often tell me how amazingly brilliant their toddlers were...in advanced placement alphabet and color recognition by age 1, teaching algebra at age 4...self taught readers and prodigys! I'd listen intently but would often be distracted by my kids 10 feet away who were usually eating mulch and dirt or banging their head against something. And I totally get it...I was TOTALLY that parent with my first two kids...my twins just gave me a different reality. So, I just kind of got used to poking fun at ourselves, and completely resting on Jesus for anything good to come of us.
Jesus has been faithful and GOOD to us. All I've done is heavily relied on Him....that's been my part...that's all I bring to the relationship between God and myself, total dependence on Him. My kids are 11 now, we still have a lot to work on. But, today they read beyond their grade level and excel in almost all school subjects. I was recently told they'll likely be put in AP classes in high school, right after I was told one of them was caught with his entire sole of his shoe in his mouth. My goal has always been simple: keep them out of prison and teach them Gods Word. I don't want my kids growing up having to feel like frauds either. They're not always good either. We're all just human. We're capable of doing good things and we're equally capable of totally sucking, and failing, and sinning....and the good news? It's okay- God's not done with us.
I'll be perfect one day, ...but it won't be with my feet planted on this earth, it will be on the other side of Glory. And it definitely will not be due to my awesome resume of goodness....it will be because of Jesus' awesome record of goodness on my behalf. If you want to listen to some of my stories of how God has transformed my heart....please do because He is incredible and His Word humbles us and does continually transform and sanctify us! But, if you're looking to me like I'm the end all poster child for Christianity, please don't, you'll be disappointed, and it won't take long!!! Look past me to the one I'm looking at. He alone is good.
All that to say, please don't ever tell me I'm good...I don't need any self confidence...I need God confidence :) Remind me of how Good God is despite me. I always wince when I hear people say something like "He's a Great man of God"...and I always wish they would instead say "He's a man who serves a GREAT God". Lets lessen the burden on each other, and place it on the one who can bear the weight of the title "Good"- He's not a fraud...He's the real deal. He's the ONLY real deal. Trust in Him today, what are you waiting for?!
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