Walmart customer service

Jens series of unfortunate events , episode 3,456:

 I'm on the phone with a friend who is driving in her car who suddenly starts yelling "oh no!!, what happened??!! awww, shoot!!, Let me call you right back, click."

 She calls back ...."I don't know what to do.....I found a bunch of groceries laying in the middle of the road between Walmart and Meijers...they must have fallen off someone's truck?? There's sheets, toilet paper, strawberries...(she's rifling through all this stuff), paper towels, hotdog buns...oh someone's going to be so upset....there's like four bags of stuff here I just picked up from the middle of the road! What do I do with all this stuff?...why did I even stop??"

 I told her to take them back to Walmart, "I'll call ahead and let them know you're coming in case the people who lost their stuff call Walmart in the meantime looking for their stuff, they'll know its on its way." 

So, I'm sitting on my deck with Ruby and my neighbors dog who I had just grabbed for a playdate. I call Walmart...I'm on hold for what seems like FOREVER...10 minutes passes by...I decide to go in the house and get each of these dogs a treat. I come outside with 2 treats in my left hand..Walmart hold music still playing on speakerphone in my right hand. "Sit", I sternly command the dogs...They both sit.

 "Hello, Walmart curtesy desk", comes the voice from my cellphone as I simultaneously and accidentally fumble ONE dog treat on the ground between the two pups.....the dogs start fighting to what sounds like the death over this treat. Ruby's got her full on Cujo face on display. I'm screaming like an absolute nutjob because it sounds like they're trying to kill each other over this two cent Aldi treat....I'm screaming and scrambling towards them as the phone falls out of my hand to break up what sounds like a death match.......they break up 17 seconds later. Its quiet for a second when suddenly I hear a voice from my phone: 

"Hello?"...its still the Walmart guy.

 I catch my breath and grab the phone....my heart is POUNDING, "I'm SO sorry, that was literally the craziest timing for you to pick up this line,lol"....it must have sounded like Michael Vicks backyard pre 2008. 

 I don't know if the people ever recovered their groceries. The dogs were both fine, I was thoroughly embarrassed. This would never have happened if it were Meijers groceries....another Walmart experience on record.