If my mind had a tape recorder

Is it a full moon? i must check. There are days like today where my mind is racing with thoughts that could be the subject of dozens of blog posts. As I rush around, glancing at the glowing time on the oven, on my phone, on the computer screen as I walk by, i am reminded each time of all the things I have yet to do  today before the boys arrive home from school and how everything I am pondering, being enlightened with on this splendid day will likely be drowned out and nearly forgotten once the chaos begins in approximately 1 hour and twenty minutes. Its days like this that I really wish my mind could script my thoughts for me, maybe wire the brain directly to my blog post(is google working on this?)...i could have a hit blog!!, write best sellers in these moments!! Please, God give me these same clarities and imaginative realizations on another day...these exact same ones so I may record them for my children and my childrens children to read one day when they ponder who I ever was and the things I wish i could pass on to them.

One thought, I want to live as God showed me a few years ago at a campground in West Olive. He awoke me late at night, brought me to this magnificent moon hanging over the crashing waves of a dark Lake Michigan beach at night while my boys lay sleeping on gravel in a tent not far away...in a park truly meant for rv's but willing to allow us tenters to stay. God brought me to this enormous ...and one of the most beautiful moons I have ever seen and said to me "Shine like the moon" ...show your blemishes and the reflection of the light (from the son)  which both exposes those blemishes and beautifies them. I have much to be ashamed of in this life. I pray for the courage to be outspoken and acknowledge my own failures and deviations from the Word of God (repenting of all and accepting the marks they leave). I pray that no matter what shame and/or accusation of hypocrite I may receive, I continue to accept those claims, especially hypocrite because I know it to be true.

Thoughts on deception: The earth is filled with deception...layers and layers of lies so thick that the standard as I see on this earth(on this winter 2014 day) is to believe the lies as truth and mock the ones who shine their God given lights through the dark. The dark is deceptively shown as glittering  rainbow love (don't fall for it precious ones!!)...Grace is used to twist truth...and by self professed believers!(don't fall for them precious ones!!) I myself had been deceived by the lies of this world so  many times which is why Jeff likely claims I am an instant skeptic today...the result of a truth seeker living in this world. The world is deceptive, we can deceive ourselves. i know I can!! Seek truth always...it may not be easy...you most likely will be mocked, you will seem strange..but its worth it. Seek truth and give grace...when its too difficult, step away and commune with God. This verse got me through my last week in various debates with a small group of deceivers wishing to tear down the cross in Grand Haven and start on all out assault on all "public" displays of Jesus:

" Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise." Corinthians

Know that if you believe you sound strange outside of a bible believing group, if you literally take God at His word...you are a strange light shining in the darkness...the powers that rule darkness have one goal...to snuff you out. And remember that humans become puppets of darkness unaware of who they are even serving....and their intentions are believed to be good, even to themselves! I was once a child of the dark and I believed I had values...and i did. but my virtue had no compass.  Satan uses pride, intellectualism, recognition from the world and accolades from society to trick people. Deception is thick, you have one weapon...truth. You have one strength...God, you have full access through the Holy Spirit, so use it...and remember to be kind.

The plurality of the One True God and some thoughts about twins

Wrestling with the remove the cross/keep the cross social media back and forth and the correct response to the people who are trying to remove the cross, I've found myself being sarcastic in my comments...its how I deal sometimes. Although i don't think Im being mean,  I do realize my sarcasm and humor is perceived that way at times. I spoke with Kathy Plescher who's leading the charge behind popular atheist and Christian oppositionist Mitch Kahle. Kathy converted to Judaism a year ago after being a Christian missionary in South America along with hewr husband, she told me to listen to "Lets get biblical" by rabbi Tovia Singer...the set was actually on my shelf and Ive listened before, but a few years ago.

In my first or second year as a believer my mom went to see Rabbi Tovia Singer speak at some temple, she heard he was a Jew skilled at bringing converts back to Judaism...for only a low cost of $70 she could purchase his set of cd's,  and bam the light would be put out and I would be back to a secular agnostic jew living in depression and poor choices again.  I guess anythings better than that obnoxious born again daughter in the family who keeps persisting that Jesus is real and he is the Messiah that we all need to humble ourselves and accept if we're ever  to mend our brokenness and be whole again. So, I listened to his cd once again where he attempts to dismantle the trinity. The trinity is always a big stumbling block for both Jews and Muslims...how can God who is One possibly be three? How can God who so often reminds us that he is One be manifested as Father, Son, Holy Spirit....isn't this the highest form of blasphemy?!

Well the answer begins on page 1 of Genesis. In the beginning, literally the first page first verse of Gods Word proclaims "In the beginning Elohim created heaven and earth. It goes on for a bit in this pattern:  "Elohim said...so there was....it was good" again "Elohim said...so there was....it was good" and repeat ...and it was ALL good. But theres some interesting things when we just pause and chew the cud of Gods Word for a bit. First lets point out that  when God speaks He uses different names in scripture.... and there is profound meaning in each name. Elohim for example is used about 2600 times. Its shorter version "El" is used 238 times. El means "One true God" . Elohim is a plural version of One true God; and God uses Elohim in the beginning were he creates.  The mystery of the trinity is literally given to its readers on the first page and first statement of the Bible! Again on page 1; Elohim creates man and Elohim says in Genesis "Let us make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness" Again, Elohim gives us these clues to unlock the mystery of the trinity and possibility that GOD can be both ONE and PLURAL somehow.  He goes on in His creation and awesome story to show us. When man and woman unite in marriage we become "one flesh"...again two becomes one. When God pours out the Holy Spirit...the exact qualities and character of God to reside in us...we are invited to join Spirit with the Spirit of God...to unite and become One. We're not invited to worship and Glory with God based on our own spiritual merit, but its the invitation of the bridegroom uniting with us (the bride) that grants us favor to unite with him eternally. I mean, if your eyes are opened its truly everywhere in Gods Word and in creation itself. Just awe in that fact for a moment before you read on....go on and chew the cud, lets get  Kosher.

Tonight at church, we had a guest speaker reading from John 14:

John 14 New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Comforts His Disciples

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God^[a]; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Jesus the Way to the Father

⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you really know me, you will know^[b] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
⁸ Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
⁹ Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? ¹⁰ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. ¹¹ Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. ¹² Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.


I started pondering twins again (another blessing Elohim has granted me in this life, and ironically something I did not want, similar to my views on becoming a born again Christian, both were the absolute furthest choices from my heart, looked at with great annoyance!  I would have never picked for myself in my ignorant state, yet God knew...he BLESSED me with both despite my inability to understand)...I've wondered since my twins were born and with so many twins seemingly appearing everywhere in my life...( another friend who became a born again believer had twin girls, my best friend from high school had identical twin boys, my good friend and college roommate also had identical twin boys, another dear friend from high school's ex husband whom I introduced her too had just had twins....and ANOTHER gal i knew ALSO had twin girls..ALL in the same time period as my boys and ALL without medical interventions!! And the kicker, the gal who I worked with who witnessed to me and had JUST started working with me had identical twin boys about 7 years old, RIGHT at the time I became preggers with my twins...her name was also Jen, we both kinda look like Jennifer Anniston and we both have July birthdays....but shes MUCH shorter and sweeter than I, ha! WHAT is the symbolism of THIS??!, WHAT is the message through twins God is trying to teach me??!!. Now 7 years later, God has blessed me with this wisdom.

Now God, who is ONE, who is HOLY, has manifested Himself as Father, Son, Holy Spirit. He is of ONE SUBSTACE, ONE character , PERFECT.

My twins, or any twins who are identical. They are the result of ONE egg, same DNA which is unexplainably (or as one book explained it "random freak accident") split into two eggs...EACH egg containing the SAME DNA...which is why they LOOK identical. Jesus says in John "Anyone who has seen me, has seen the father". If you have SEEN one of my boys, you have seen the other, for they are made of the same DNA and look the SAME. God gives us twins to display this powerful truth and possibility that One can be manifested as more then one and yet somehow still be the same. In marriage, God takes two people and makes ONE flesh...that One flesh unites together. 



Now, I have more to say and thoughts on fraternal twins, because I know there is great symbollism in this as well. The first children in the world were twins! Cain and Abel, one who worships authentically and honestly, the other not so much. Then Jacob and Esau...and God states He hates esau..which REALLY always had tripped me up as Im sure it has confused others, especially in light of Jacob lying and deceiving his way to jockey position. But alas, we are a broken people, not earning salvation on our own merit but on mercy alone and this is more proof of Gods mercy on some and his wrath on others. Paul states in Romans 9:22 -24

"What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction,What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?

Paul goes on to quote OT  prophets Hosea and Isaiah so pay attention!!!

Hosea:

“Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’
    and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”
2 “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’
    there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’”

And Isaiah cries out concerning Israel: 

“Though the number of the sons of Israel be as the sand of the sea, only a remnant of them will be saved, 28 for the Lord will carry out his sentence upon the earth fully and without delay.

We know there are truly two spirits in this world...the Spirit of Elohim (Christ) and the spirit of the anti-Christ.....that is it. We are merely lumps of clay with weak fleshly spirits that are as futile as the wind blowing or a wave crashing. We are here today and gone tomorrow as the song goes. We are but lumps of clay with God given breath...where do you stand? The spirit of God reaches out to you spirit man with an arm of salvation and saving Grace, even though you are now an enemy of Him...that's what He does, He has pity on you and is willing to save you...will you humble yourself today and let Him?

Telling your story

When you tell people stories from your life, does it ever occurr to you the same story may never be told exactly the same? I don't have a specific script for many of the events that happened in my life to date. But when I'm in a casual conversation and i find myself telling someone a life story, it hit me that it's the same story, but i can tell it so many different ways and from so many angles...and I'm just one person!!. It started to make me think of the Gospels...here we have one major event...the most important event in the history of mankind, yet we have four gospel writers who tell the same story from four perspectives. They all give the same information, some more on specific topics...another writer hitting events that one of the others may not have written....but ALL the same story of Jesus' redemption for   mankind. Think about that next time you're telling your story or just chewing on events from your past. Even specific scriptures can hit and enlighten us in different ways at certain points in our life. I once heard it said that scripture is like a perfectly cut diamond...you can look at it from different angles and see different things, all from the same gem. How true that is!

Bless this mess

Own the mess. Sometimes I start telling people some of the stuff from my life. The marriage to Jon that ended with his heroin addiction and  ultimately his triple stint in the slammer, raising kids as a single parent in poverty...people immediately try to sympathize and are empathetic like I am a victim of unintended consequences. Of course, the consequences weren't intended, BUT I sold Jon illegal drugs when I met him, a twenty year old foolish hearted Jen I was...go figure he ended up being a drug addict. Most of the trials and suffering I endured during my life were the result of my own poor decisions. Yes, I could choose to go back to my childhood and blame my parents and cite the brokeness there for my bad judgement as a young adult...but what good does that do me?! Who doesn't have problems growing up??! Lets own our actions that lead to suffering, in one way or another most of us are responsible for tragedy in our lives. If you don't own it...you can't repent of it...you won't change from it. To place yourself in the victim camp is a place of bondage...we're always pointing the finger at another as the cause when in reality we have our own guilt in the equation. Want change, want to move on? Own the mess, repent of it...and live.

Jen

What God has done

He's faithful...more faithful than one single person has ever been to me in my 38 years. He doesn't leave me, he's patient, kind, merciful and loving beyond comprehension....and He see's all my dirt.

1. Rescued me from depression- in addition rescuing me from an addiction to antidepressants as a result of lifelong depression. 7 years strong and full of Hope :) :)
2. Rescued me from poverty. 11 years ago i was a single parent with 2 kids, no family around, and no child support. I prayed even before i was a full on believer for God to get me back to college and out of poverty. Today I have money in the bank and a bachelors degree in a field that's always hiring, I own a home, and a car that has never broken down...4 years strong on the minivan!!!
3. Divorce- I went through a terrible divorce...He walked with me and talked with me....encouraged me and filled me with Hope....even when the church frowned on me....He knew me, He knew my situation and He loved me through it...Thank-you God.
4. He introduced me to Jeff- Jeff flew in to help me when I was going through one of the most difficult years of my life. 2 years later, he put a rock on my finger...He's Loving, patient, kind, level headed and GOOD to my kids...He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me :)

Sanctification

I'm stripping and cleaning my kitchen vinyl floor this week as the kids just went back to school. Its a big job, it requires me to scrub dirt, grime, and pieces of debris that have embedded themselves into my light colored floor over the last few years. After Ive scrubbed it until my hands hurt, I wipe it clean as I possibly can before I seal it with a polish....I don't want to lock in any of that grime I just worked so hard to get off! The polish protects it from future grime and debris being able to embed itself so easily in the months ahead. Because the job is so big and because I wanted to see the impact it was making I decided to do it one spot at a time, starting small then finishing big!

This season of my life Gods doing a number on me...bringing me through a new area in my life that needs to be sanctified. I don't want to do it, Ive struggled with God over it for the last several years and here I am finally putting down my sword and submitting. I guess that's called obedience in Christian circles. I realized what a hypocrite I've been....I stand firm on Gods definition of marriage and believe that God can change desires. I'm outspoken about Gods ability to change the desires of people with same sex attractions. I myself don't share that struggle.... But I definately struggle with my own sexual desires. For years and even now I commit sin by having sex outside of marital vows.... Yet God tells me to preserve sex for marriage....but I have not listened!!! I have been the worst of hypocrites, not practicing what I preach. Forgive me for being so complacent about my own sin but pointing out the speck in your eye.

So Im embarking on another section of my life where God desires to sanctify me from my own desires and fill me with His. Thank you God for bearing with me...thank you for new mercies every single day. And how fitting that while he's walking me through this process that I'm in the midst of a white floor restoration. What a parable he provided me in my mundane daily life as a stay at home mama. I can visibly see the difference in the before and after, and I'm exciting to see it once again in my own life when He completes another section of sanctification in my life. And when he's scrubbed every piece of debris and grime from years and years and years of sin, he'll put His protective sealant over my freshly scrubbed heart to protect me in the days ahead. What a good God He is!

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Black and white

Recently I sat in church and listened to some teaching on submission. I both agreed and disagreed with it. What really grated me was when the women teaching said even if your husband is not in God's will, you are to submit to him and she appropriately cited 1 Peter 3:1-7 (and I'm not saying she is wrong!) It just hit home because I lived in that situation for so long.

"wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,"

I agree with this wholeheartedly with the instruction, but the tension is still there. I feel like Jacob at the river of Jabbok wrestling with God. The bible is full of paradoxes, I don't agree that we are cookie cutter followers and I do think God deals with each of us individually.  God's Word has so much paradox in it he invites us to question him, to wrestle with him...to have this ongoing conversation with him. I wasn't completely sold on the counsel I heard. here's one reason for my struggle:

1. The woman teaching has a husband who loves Christ and a family who was put together the way God intended for families to be made...stable, well as stable as you can be as a family living on earth. I'm not saying her husband and father are perfect and they don't struggle...I'm quite certain they do. But its hard in my position to take advice from someone who hasn't walked in my shoes. As the saying goes " A person with experience will never be at the mercy of someone with an opinion". Theres only one who has walked in my shoes, Jesus, so he's my counselor on this topic. 

I grew up fatherless and broken and ended up in foul marriages...with rotten foundations (yes plural...marriages). I know that when I became a believer God held me in my second marriage and worked to mold me to His image...I worked at it, but in the end i failed, miserably (and His grace surrounded me when I called His name). I had no desire or  respect left for my husband, my children witnessed a grossly upside down model of what a wife and husband should be. When you grow up with no model of what a good husband looks like, you end up grasping at straws and picking men for all the wrong reasons. In some cases, the absolutely worst men are completely transformed and made new, I've seen it with my own eyes...it is AMAZING...HGTV got nothin when compared to this rehab. But for me...in my situation, God was doing something different, ..He was calling me to divorce....to tear down my rotting foundation and build it differently.

She did speak to husbands who do crimes instructing women to turn their husbands in to the authorities and not continue to be abused. But she thought that many women may antagonize their husbands then cry abuse when they provoke it. That may be true in many cases today. But, I know thats not true for every woman. There  are women who sit quietly and listen to these teachings, and read their bibles and struggle endlessly because they go home and live with a man who not only doesn't strive to follow Christ, but mocks her emotionally, fails her provisionally, sets up cycles of unrighteousness for her children..... this spans years, sometimes the children are born and raised through it all. Then there are other husbands who don't know Christ but still display Christlike traits in their marriage...could it be that it was modeled to them?...and I say Hallelujah and high five to those men out there.

She goes on to say that we are to submit to our employers, governments, church leaders, worldly institutions...agreed on all of it, BUT there are moments in history where the government, the church, the institution steps out of line with Gods will and makes it their own will, similar to the husband of the wife I mention above. What would that look like if throughout history, God didn't call this people against unrighteousness but instead called them to absolute submission.

Case in point #1- Martin Luther vs. the Catholic church...http://www.biblestudytools.com/history/creeds-confessions/luther-95-theses.html

If Martin completely submitted instead of rebelling to the church, I likely would not be able to express my thoughts in this blog so freely today. Should Luther rather have submitted to the church but prayed silently the church would recognize their shortcomings and turn back to God?

Case in point #2- The Separatists movement away from the Church of England, which ultimately led them to America to practice Christianity worshiping in Spirit and truth rather than to the King of England, ultimately leading them to pilgrimage (Pilgrims) in the freest country on earth, the USA. Should the Separatists bowed to the King and prayed silently for his inward conversion?

#3-Revolt against Hitler- do I have to go any further?

I could go on forever about the wrongs of earthly institutions and God causing people to rise up to those injustices and using their rebellion for good. Could it be he does the same for women in oppressive marriages. When he says

"The wise will be put to shame; they will be dismayed and trapped. Since they have rejected the word of the LORD, what kind of wisdom do they have?
Therefore I will give their wives to other men and their fields to new owners. From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit.
Jeremiah 8:9-11

In my life God called me out of my second marriage. Some in the church would never agree with this, but I know my Shepherds voice. Its the same Shepherd who now calls me to show mercy and forgiveness and asks me to pray for my second husband who would perceive me as his enemy. He calls me to take the high road always, to seek justice and goodness. Is it possible God could bless me and women like me as he blessed our nation, as he blessed Protestants, or is he forever angry with us, reminding us of our failure to submit despite circumstances? That's not the Shepard I know, my Shepherd doesn't sling rocks from yesterday to shame me, He actively works with me now to mold me, he for sure uses my life experiences and my shortcomings to change me, but not to shame me...to give me hope and a future.

So while God calls us to submission, there are times when he calls us to stand up and fight for justice against institutions...marriage, governments and employers, ALWAYS seeking His wisdom and counsel as we trek through it. His purpose is Good, always.

other verses on submission:

Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV /

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-22 ESV /

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

Genesis 3:16 ESV /

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV /

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

word of God

"the bible might not teach us everything we need to know in life, it certainly won't teach you how to fix your car. But the Word of God is sufficient to do the work of God". author of Take God at His word

Jeffs sleep

Jeff is having trouble sleeping so i sent him a sleep pack through the mail yesterday which includes a bible dedicated to him, some easter peeps, and some sleep aids. In the Bible, I added a letter I wrote to God in November 2011...Jeff and I had just met 3 months prior and we had no clue where we were headed. i poured out my desires for a husband and marriage to God, pretty specifically...I just want so badly to have what God designed for humanity. My entire life Ive seen it broken over and over and over again and have myself perpetuated this cycle. My desire is to put myself aside and live obediently in Gods plan for marriage because I believe this is where joy is found. No, not in marriage itself, although marriage can be joyful, but in obedience to God. My continual prayer God is that i learn how to do this, that I can move from being in constant survival mode to resting in your will mode. Let me be like the lilies and the birds God, fill me with wisdom and arm me with your light so I can see clearly. I know you have blessed us more than we deserve, let us walk and live to glorify you. Patience is required. Give Jeff the light he needs to see words that fill him with life and peace before he sleeps each night. Show him that all joy and satisfaction comes from knowing you. Creation is made to be enjoyed, the creator of creation gives joy....please open his eyes and let his new wisdom journey begin. Trusting YOU.

French braids

I heard this on the radio yesterday and thought it was brilliant A man describes how one day his wife sat him down to give him a lesson on french braiding since she left him with their daughters once and they showed up to school with some crazy hair styles one day, lol. So this man says from looking at the final product it looks like two groups of hair woven together to make one beautiful do.... But he never realized there were three strands woven together to make it work. That's what a marriage is like he goes on to say. From the outside it looks like two, but its that third strand that makes it possible and beautiful. I just love that insight.

Random thoughts of Holy things

What if we all just decided for one day to step out of our flesh and live...worship in spirit and truth just for a day...every single one of us, now THATS a holiday I'd like to celebrate. A sort of heaven on earth day where there's no gifts to wrap, no big meals to prepare...just a focus on leaving our fleshly sins in the dust for a day and begging for Gods spirit to lift us up and out giving us power to do the impossible. We'd love our enemies, forgive one another, be more giving, deny ourselves. I struggle with all of these things every single day although every single day I hope to rely enough on God to accomplish them. I look forward to my days with God in heaven.

How to pray

Yesterday I heard something on the radio that said we're supposed to pray to the Father...in the name of Jesus; not directly to Jesus. This is something I never really thought about. When i went to bed I tried to pray "the Lords prayer"...I didn't even have it memorized. So I prayed for forgiveness for not even knowing such a basic prayer that most professing Christians know, I felt it just showed my lack of discipline in studying the basics of the Bible. " I don't even know how to address you in prayer God, please teach me how to pray!" This was my prayer as I dozed off into sleep on a Saturday night. This morning we went to church and our worship leader Chris was preaching, for the first time that Ive ever heard him. The boys were able to stay with me during worship for like 20 minutes too which has nothing to do with this but was really fun for me to have them there. Anyways, Chris starts with this story about the birth of his daughter and he's going on and on. When he gets to the focus of the message he says turn to Luke 11. I open up the book, flip to Luke 11, and there it is..."The Lords Prayer" the subject of our sermon today. It brought tears to my eyes. How amazing he truly truly is. Chris points to the end of the Luke 11 where God says "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” My job was eliminated five days ago...I'm living on a severance and a hope that God is answering my prayers to have a family and be able to be home with my kids. That he will provide for us and use us to glorify Him. This was the confirmation i needed today. This was my daily bread as the prayer goes. Thank you for your love, your mercy which is greater than my sin, thank you for adopting me and for always working towards Good. I pray for power today to bless those who try to curse me and that my faith will increase as well as my boldness so that I may boast about your strength and love. I pray these things to God the father, in the sweetest name I know; Jesus...amen. He said to them, “When you pray, say: Father, Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation. I told Chris afterwards about my prayer last night and amazed I was and said I still didn't really get the full clarity on who to pray for. Dave was right next to him and they both said "If you send a letter to 225 exchange (2/25 the day I lost my job,lol) it will get here, it doesn't matter who you address it to, we're all in the same location. I am so so blessed!!!! :)

Don't get comfortable

The two distinct messages God has implanted in my heart and mind this season: 1. "Don't get comfortable" okay so maaaaybe Im a little comfortable now living in the same location for a whopping 7 years..and same town for 16 years ta boot, a record for this gypsy. BUT when have I ever REALLY been comfortable in all this? God has continuously prepped me for challenges and growth. After this much training, I get it Lord...I'll move where you want me to move. 2."No schemes of man" Its really easy for me to think of ways to plot or scheme when I'm in the middle of a battle, but this theme of "No schemes of man" consistently pops up when I literally am scheming. I heard a sermon a few months ago about a battle between Gideons army and the Midianites (its in Judges 7). Gideons army was thousands big, 32,000 strong. But God didn't want them to boast on their own strength over a victorious battle, so he scaled back the army from 32,000 to 300 men. The battle ended up with the Midianites turning on eachother and killing themselves while Gideons army blew some trumpets and smashed some jars. This is Gods way...thankyou God for always reminding me to trust your ways and not rely on the schemes of man. My flesh will always...always...no matter how often I see your power, goodness and faithfulness at work....I still have a nagging doubt that causes me to turn back to my own foolish schemes of man ways...forgive me and help me to stay weak so I may continuously boast about YOUR strength, YOUR power & your willingness to save. All I want from you is the strength to pray for my enemies. God help me to bless those who curse me. When the storms come you can walk on water...YOU are unsinkable!, give me the faith to trust you 100 percent so I can walk with you. Your daughter, Jen