A shoveling Jew

My grandpa was buried in a Jewish cemetery and we had a Rabbi perform the ceremony. According to tradition, once he was lowered into the ground, there was, sitting next to his grave, two shovels and a wheelbarrow full of dirt for all the family and guests to take turns throwing dirt on his casket. Its a traditional Jewish way to honor the dead, as Jews do not believe in cremation. The guests and family being the first to begin the process of natural decay returning my grandpa to the dust with which he came.

So the guests and family lined up to take their turns. My nephew noticed a few of the people using the reverse side of the shovel when their time came. He later asked us about it at as we sat shiva.

"So, whats the significance of using the shovel backwards?"

No one knew (which is standard protocol for secular Jews living today),

So I replied:

"theres no symbollic interpretation for it, we're Jews! we don't know how to use shovels! "When have you ever seen a Jew shoveling?"

and that at least made him laugh.

I googled it later (another protocol of secular Jews who want to appear like they understand their own religion). So, the significance of the reverse shoveling is to display your despair in mourning. I guess it's more sensible than tearing your clothes, perhaps it was part of the reformation.

What do you guys think? would you rather laugh or show the world you are mourning? I think I'll choose the former; through tears :) My grandpa was 93 when he died...he spent the last 20 years of his life eating pie almost every day and playing the piano. He had a blessed life, he was a blessed and kind man. And he loved to make everyone around him laugh and try his food...I think I'll model him in that way to honor him.