Revelation Boobs

I went to a local church recently to hear a bible study covering the book of revelation. At one point, the pastor drew a pair of eyes that were forward looking on the white board 👀 . Everyone started laughing. So I looked up to see what he drew and saw, what appeared to me, like a pair of boobs.

 I made a joke later about it to his wife as she was leaving the bathroom. Talking to Jeff later that day about the study I mentioned something about it, like “hey, wasn’t that funny when his drawing looked like boobs”. “What are you talking about”? he asked. I explained and he says “that’s not at all what happened.!” Why was everyone laughing then”? “Because his drawing looked like clouds and not much at all like eyes, they were just laughing at his poor artistry” He tells me. “But I saw boobs, I thought everyone was laughing because it looked like boobs...”oh dear God, I made a joke to the pastors wife about him drawing boobs!” 

"What did she say?” ... 

“Well nothing, she just smiled and walked out of the bathroom”.

 “Oh no, oh God no, what have I done?” Now I’m over here praying that everyone else saw boobs except my husband....is that an acceptable prayer request? Otherwise I can’t even imagine what this pastors wife thinks of me. I’m having a really hard time trying to figure out how to ask her. “Hey, a few weeks ago...you saw boobs right??, that wasn’t clouds we were laughing at, it was boobs...we all saw boobs?” That wouldn’t be awkward. I’d be digging my hole deeper if she didn’t see boobs. $100 says 90% of that room saw boobs. If not, please pray for me, ....I really hope the Lord has a sense of humor , if He doesn’t , I’m in SO.MUCH.TROUBLE!

Upper body strength

In TJ Max last night with Miles. A grown woman wearing 2 face masks tightly pressed against 65 percent of her face with coverage up to her spectacle protected eyeballs sees me with a mask hanging right below the tip of my nose in an effort to breathe. She stops, dead in her tracks, faces my direction , and attempts to burn holes through me with her stare. Her posture was reminiscent of my cat winding up to pounce on some unsuspecting bird frolicking in the yard. But I wasn’t unsuspecting; when she gave me the laser daggers , I looked right back into her cold cruel eyes and smiled until my eyes made her aware of the beaming unashamed happiness beneath my face cloth. Then I said “hello”. I wouldn’t look away away until I was certain she wouldn’t become more aggressive than her stare. I won’t lie, I was disappointed she didn’t try to verbally attack me . I’ve had variations of this moment scripted, that I’ve been rehearsing in my mind for months now and they’re pretty funny. I’ve always been curious if id forget my lines on the main stage. I just hope no one ever tries to physically assault me because I have no upper body strength outside being mouthy, which is technically located on my upper body.

Psychoanalyzing white privilege and CRT

I think I know what might be happening. Some people, who are white , grew up, were given much by their family members, felt guilty about it as they got older and became more successful in life; more successful than they would have been if it depended on their own God given talents and merit. 

 Perhaps they came from a household that was openly racist? Maybe these white people grew up believing that they were better than everyone else. Now they're grown up and they realize it's not true. Maybe they did live in a white bubble, didn't personally know any one who wasn't white, and the only thing they knew of minorities was what they saw on the nightly news and heard their racist family members saying...so they stereotyped minorities as all being one and the same based on crime stories of a few. So, the white privilege narrative works on them because they are genuinely convicted over their own sin of racism; theres some truth to it for them, so they'll take any ideology that runs alongside it...this is all hypothetical ,mind you....just trying to make sense of how the white privilege narrative has gained traction. 

 If this is you and you want to fess up and relieve yourself the guilt of unmerited success in life or racist views you or your family have held, I can totally respect that, I applaud it actually...if you were racist and you see the error of it and repent of it...bravo friend, seriously!

 This is where the rub starts---If I think about a person growing up in a bubble, who has stereotyped people by their skin colors...I can see you think you must attribute your current feelings and life experience with anyone that has the same skin color as you. Just like you used to stereotype minorities based on the news of some....NOW you're stuck in that same habit, except you're stereotyping all white people based on your lived experience and guilt. 

 Maybe its worth pointing out?....you're still stereotyping people based on their skin color...that's still wrong...conviction over personal sin is not wrong though. Again, openly for your genuine repentance. 

 Get schooled up on some MLK..."I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." Heed those words...CONTENT OF CHARACTER, NOT SKIN. STOP STEROTYPING PEEPS BASED ON THEIR GOD GIVEN SKIN COLORS! We're not all the same....I mean, we all have different sin issues we're dealing with, but we don't all sin the same. Everyone that has your skin color is not you. Everyone that doesn't have your skin color, also not all exactly the same as one another. There is ample diversity in people...diversity that is more than skin deep.

Pro parenting tip # 3,407

Pro-parenting tip #3,407...for the moms. 

 Can’t get your tweens or teenage boys to put their electronics away? You take them away only to find out they discovered your hiding spot and are sitting in the bathroom watching YouTube videos again. When you hide their stuff...wherever you put it...throw your biggest ugliest underwear and bra on top of that, they won’t go anywhere near it!

Gotcha!

I’m by the resort pool trying to read a book and these two little Italian tan skinned east coast 12 year olds with braces , let’s call them Bada bing and Bada Bang, well they’re in the shallow end of the pool near me trying to trick everyone that walks by like your typical 12 year old might ...”Excuse me sir, you dropped your dollar”, as some puzzled looking stranger looks behind himself confused before they continue where ever it was they were headed to. Then these two knuckleheads just cackle and say something highly inappropriate to each other involving a mans intimate parts. Old lady comes waltzing by...”excuse me mam, you dropped your dollar”. They said this same stupid line to at least 14 people waltzing by. I’m watching the whole stupid thing like it’s an episode of jersey shore Beavis and Butthead.

 Finally, I notice one of these kids is wearing a thick gold chain with a cross on the front of it; so  I say “Hey kid, is that your gold necklace at the bottom of the pool?” He looks panicked for a second as he looks at the pools bottom while simultaneously reaching for the precious gold chain around his neck to find it’s still on him. He just looks at me and I smile and pat my own back a few times and say “gotcha”. I might as well just go to bed, this day has been a success.

Disney during Covid Plandemic

Darby can tell you any disaster story that’s ever happened at Disney, it’s impressive. He knows every horror story, historical fact, highlights,lowlights of every single facet of the Magic Kingdom. He even knew why the hall of presidents was shut down..they’re working on Joe Biden’s model. He can explain the entire splash mountain charge of racism saga. 

 On the ferry ride over ..”mom, that’s treasure island, a boy died when it was a water park. A parasite got into his brain and killed him in the 1980s. Then they turned it into a zoo called discovery island”.

 Standing in line for space mountain...”mom, two people died on this ride...the first was a make a wish foundation kid. He died during the ride, came back in the car dead. Another person died from a piece of metal dislodging and hitting them during the ride....came back in the car mutilated bloody and dead.”

 Standing in line for it’s a small world ...” mom- people say theyve seen a ghost of a dead kid hanging from the ceiling by a rope on this ride”. 

 The commentary really added an element to Disney I’ve never experienced on previous trips. This kid could seriously run a Disney dark history tour.

 The weather was awesome, the park is a little weird...different than what I’ve experienced in the past. Mind you, I’m not a HUGE Disney fan by any stretch of the imagination. The employees don’t speak to you much except to remind you over and over and over and over to make sure your mask is pulled up above your nose. They don’t smile, say hello, their job is 90% to keep reminding you to pull your mask up over your nose “all the way”...a woman next to me got told hers wasn’t down her chin far enough. Another fella and his family got tossed for not complying enough. I don’t think they make masks big enough to do what they want you to do with them...maybe they just want you to buy theirs? Darby was worried about the safety bar on space mountain...he asked the employee to check it...she reminded him to keep his mask pulled up all the way, ignored his lap bar question and sent him into the outer darkness. 

 There’s dots everywhere to stand on, everything is spread out. They even spread out the ride cars they fill up, you can see in the pics. The wait times were awesome, I don’t think we waited more than 45 minutes for anything. And that 45 minute wait was only on pirates of the Caribbean ride where we got stuck behind this couple “in love”...the guy mostly in love with his girlfriends but cheeks because we were stuck watching him handle that girls but cheeks the entire time! That wasn’t awkward, lol...I even took a picture of what we had to look at for 45 minutes...I spared you the worst of it. But with most the other lines being much shorter and lacking PDA, we actually got to go in at least 10 “rides”. 

 There’s plexiglass and hand sanitizer everywhere. Little kids still lick the handrails. Parents all still look miserable schlepping their tired toddlers around. Princesses on floats don’t need to wear masks. Small marching bands don’t need to wear masks ( even the drummers). You can take your mask off to eat and drink. I had a cup in my hands AT ALL TIMES for the moments I needed to breathe...that’s how I survived the day...well that and that I don’t have toddlers to chase around anymore. So if you’re headed here, if you can pull off a decent Snow White, good enough to convince park employees you’re the real deal, or play a tuba...you might be able to get away without a mask. Otherwise, you just suck it up and drink and eat as much as you possibly can throughout the day. 

 Oh and bonus for the day , a woman sitting next to me on a bench while I was drinking coffee had a duck fly into her head while we were chatting...so that was flipping hilarious. 😂 Taking tomorrow off from the parks.

Dobby

Darby still working on his “R” sound, lol ...he was so annoyed when he saw this, lolol.

Search and Destroy- Orlando

We’re at the resort pool last night. I’m curiously watching this woman swimming laps in the pool with two masks over her face and I’m talking to this young man from New Orleans, a tuba player, here with his band to play a 3 week gig at universal studios. Search and Destroy are both in the hot tub, when the outdoor alarm goes off and people start scattering in every direction. I’m like “what did my kids do?”. Turns out someone asked Cooper to hit the button for the hot tub jets, he hit the big red emergency button instead. I just see him pacing back and forth in humiliation, lolol. Priceless.

Orlando 2021 Spring Break

The frontier flight: Cooper- row 1, Me-exit row 13, and Darby, back in row 16... hands down the most turbulent flight I’ve experienced in my lifetime. Lights were flickering on and off, sounded like the top of the plane hit something, I had my barf bag ready...did I mention Ive been watching Lost, season 1 with search and destroy these last few weeks?? Yeah the show about plane turbulence that ended in a plane crash with only a fraction of the passengers surviving....talk about bad timing to start a show. 

We all survived, I didn’t throw up, Florida is delightfully warm ( I won’t complain about the heat until day 3). I was able to run fast enough with the twins by my side to the car rental place knocking the elderly and disabled out of my way to NOT end up at the back of the car rental line saving us at least what appeared to be a six hour wait by the look of misery on the peoples faces behind us . I’m usually a nice person, but all bets are off when it comes to the car rental line. Our rental car stinks of weed and only plays Latino radio stations. 

 Best of all, we got to our resort to find out it is literally right behind the Checkers burger joint with a catapult your kid into space ride, run by an operator with two teeth in his head guy for $50. Miles begged me to let him do this 5 years ago when we stopped at Checkers for a quick burger in old town. I watched in horror as this toothless burnout headbanged it out to Skid row blaring over the loudspeakers as he strapped my then 15 year old into his seat to send him 300 feet into the dark sky screaming out of my sight ...me on the ground videotaping the whole thing wondering if I was the most reckless parent alive to allow this. Miles survived five years ago so I might let search and destroy have a go at it this year...how could I not? It’s literally walking distance from our place, lol. There’s raccoons running around this resort, we have our own private hot tub, theres a lady in this very uncrowded outdoor swimming pool, doing the breast stroke, wearing two masks over her face. Wawa is only a five minute drive from here, Magic Kingdom Park is tomorrow. I’m wearing two Fanny packs at once. This.is.Orlando....I have a feeling we’re going to really enjoy this trip!! 🙂 

Yes that’s Darby pictured there in the front of the line at the economy car rental place with no a/c standing in front of the most miserable people on earth this afternoon.