Tuesday, November 30, 2021

Omicron

My ride home consisted of a deep dive on the Greek letter Omicron. For my friends who already think I’m nuts, this won’t help. For my friends who love Gods Word and easily discern signs and parallels with, you may find some of this interesting. 

 I don’t have this all figured out and I don’t plan to , it’s just mind boggling signs I’ve been noticing since “corona” started that have only increased with frequency and to a point that is so absurd it makes me laugh . Many of these have been shown to me along the way, ill list some things and scripture ive recalled along with it , some pictures that will be all over the place, bear with me here . This will probably seem like mumbo jumbo crazy lady talk to most of you, 😂 

 Even though I am NOT making a bold declaration that I know the date Jesus is coming back ( because I don’t), I DO suggest y’all get straight with Jesus and make amends with those Gods been convicting you to make amends with. 

 Omicron is the 15th letter of the Greek alphabet and the 15th star in a constellation. It’s numeric value is “6”. Stay 6 feet away from people. Lucifer is the “morning star” , the antichrist is 666. Coronas numeric value is 666 
1 C 3 
2 O 15 
3 R 18 
4 O 15 
5. N 14 
6 A  1 
————- 
6—66 =666 number of “the beast” Satan 

 “Stay 6 feet apart” 
Corona = Crown
 Jesus is King 
Satan desires Gods kingship and glory. 
Satan attempts to counterfeit God. 

 - Isaiah 14:12 12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! 

 Omicron is the 15th star in a constellation … 1+5=6 The Greek word Omicron is derived from a Phoenician letter “Ayin”. It has a value of 70. “Ayin” is a Hebrew letter , it has a value of 70. It is one of 7 letters in the Hebrew alphabet that has “crowns” , Ayin has 2 crowns. Ayin means “eye” and “salvation”, it’s the sixteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet, it’s numeric value is 7(1+6). 

 Ayin means to perceive or to have insight. << important 

 It was first used in Genesis 3, the letter is both used for “eye” and “knowing” I’ll put the lexicon in pictures and you’ll see the Hebrew letters used.

 “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

 I can’t help but ponder the value of 70 for omicron and Ayin. 70 has MAJOR significance in Gods story with His people and also in end times prophecy. Jews were taken captive for 70 years in Babylon, and Daniel prophesies 70 “weeks” which are of major major importance to end times eschatology. 

 To the Jewish people, it also holds special value for multiple other reasons you can easily look up.

 Omicron is very similar to “Omega” , the last letter of the Greek alphabet. Remember who is God?? The Alpha And the Omega?? 
The beginning and the end!! 

So what’s the difference in those 2 Greek letters??
They pretty much sound the same, but 
omicron - O-micron means little o…(micro) 
Omega- O- Mega means BIG O ( Mega) 

The Lord is the big O, There’s this weird duality in it all, do you see it?? Close but ones a counterfeit. Can you tell your shepherd apart from the wolf? 

 Ayin means insight , understanding.

 I keep thinking of this scripture followed by a PARABLE of the seeds on different soils - it was Jesus’ first parable told! , he kept using parables after this. But, he says immediately after the parable of the sower.

 Matt 13:13 “This is why I speak to them in parables: “Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.”

 ^^^^^ perceiving, understanding, the eye, wisdom, knowledge of good and evil….

”Ayin” Ayin in Hebrew can be “the evil eye” or Ayin Hara , when one looks with covetousness or jealousy with their eye upon that which they don’t have.

 Ever do a study on the eye of the free masons?? Whoo!! That’s a whole nother crazy long post that others have already done so I’ll refrain. The eye on top of the pyramid on our $$?? Is it satanic?? Some make a pretty good case it is. , satan looking upon the world with envy for what God made from the top of the mountain? What did the prophet Isaiah say again about Lucifer, the morning star??

 “You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north;[c] I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’

 Friends, I don’t have the Ayin to give you a date for end times, but I’d start earnestly seeking God today. You know what the very best time to come to the Lord is?? Always right now, don’t wait. 

 Just for fun: 2020/666 (numeric value for corona) =3.0330 30330 sound familiar?? Text “Joe” to 30330 was the bizarre “vote Joe “ text campaign where Biden kept telling us to text his name to that number, 😂











Friday, October 8, 2021

Go tell it on a mountain

What Christians say:

 “I just keep my faith to myself” 

“I’m not a preacher, A deacon, or an elder, I don’t know enough to tell people about Jesus”

“We’re supposed to just be good people , not annoying people telling people about God...that’s what hypocrites do.” 

“I’m not going to tell anyone about Jesus or share the gospel, I’m just going to be a really good person and perhaps they’ll realize I’m a Christian because of how good I am.” 

What Gods Word says: 

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, THAT YOU MAY PROCLAIM THE PRAISES OF HIM who called You out of darkness into His marvelous light" 1 Peter 2, 5-9

 If you know the Lord, praise Him! God sees your good deeds, that’s enough (don’t cash in your rewards for the praise of men, wait on it). If you want to expose any deeds, make it the sins you’re hiding (then repent and see what God does). Now, let the world know of His good deeds. Your deeds won’t save them; His will....go on and tell somebody.


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Stockholm Syndrome

I don’t know what came over me but I’m standing in Walgreens in Allendale about to buy $70 worth of vitamins. The cashier is a college aged young blonde girl, I noticed all the employees were wearing masks. I lay all my vitamins on the counter and I ask “are they making y’all wear those masks now as a condition of employment ?”

 “Yes”, she replies ….”but also I want to wear it” she continues. 

“Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?” I ask 

“Yea, I learned about it in college”. 

“That’s good, have you ever heard of the Milgram experiment the CIA did in the 1960s? I’m listening to this podcast about it now. I think you should really look into it.” 

She looked at me like I had a tinfoil hat on….even though I was the one without a dirty rag strapped to my face. I think we parted on good terms, I think we parted on good terms, I hope she looks it up…I hope you guys do too.

#DogMom

I thought I’d be nice and take Ruby to the dog park on my night off from football chauffeuring. She finds the ONE and only hidden mud puddle in the entire, what seemed like , at minimum, three acres of lush green clean grass. What led her to it?? Perhaps it was the people with purple hair , with their dog…who also had purple hair…well a purple Mohawk at least ;, I swear I’m not making this stuff up… they wanted their dog to live “it’s best life” so were intentionally hanging out by the four feet of thick murky mud puddle in the far , and what would have been, obscure, corner of the dog park, like they discovered some hidden gem.

 So naturally, with them and their dog hovering and hanging around the puddle like they’d struck gold , Ruby managed to find her way over there to see what the situation was. I didn’t suspect a thing…who intentionally sits next to the only mud puddle when there’s a perfectly dry and clean picnic table clear across the way??? 

It was too late for me to recognize the mud puddle their dog was laying in. At first , Ruby just laid down in it…while I’m screaming from across the field “no!! “ not five seconds later , with me in a full sprint waving my arms like a maniac, she decided to fully roll in it completely changing her coat from auburn red to a deep chocolate. Then she got up and peed in the puddle…then the other dog also peed in the puddle…then she rolled in it again. 

The purple haired lady yelled out laughing “she’s living her best life”! And then she yelled “Hashtag, Dog Mom”! I wanted to choke her but I refrained from doing so, as the other dog owners recognized the situation and started leashing their dogs in a mass exodus out of the park. It was too late for us. I went home , washed my dog. and thanked God that Ruby only grew to be 17 pounds ….I don’t think I could handle a 75 pound dog “living it’s best life.”

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

7 layer burrito

I just did a Taco Bell run. I asked, with hopeless ambition, if they’d brought back the 7 layer burrito. The voice on the other end gave me the expected answer. 

 The 7 layer burrito was the best and healthiest thing on their menu for years until they removed it . Why, why?!??!!! Oh fast food menu planners do you Hate us so?? 

 I was lamenting my nostalgic burrito days and scanning the pictures of deep fried beef churritos, from my car window when suddenly, this angelic voice broke through the line and declared loudly.

 “I’m Justin, the assistant manager, and I was here five years ago when we had this…I know how to hook you up, watch this”. 

 He proceeded to type in this order that appeared on the drive through screen before my eyes. 

 “Just keep your receipt, and you can order it like this every time.” He advised. 

Today is a good day….two is too many, just FYI. This Allendale Taco Bell is the bomb!!!! I’ll leave the receipt for all you lamenting 7 later burrito fans….I’m thinking about laminating mine.




Friday, August 27, 2021

Medical Freedom, it's science!

Scientists in Wuhan China either accidentally (or not ?) unleashed a new virus that would be the demise of many and wreak havoc on the world. 

 Scientists rushed to make a vaccine battling the disease scientists made and subsequently released through gain of function research.

 -Some people aren’t exactly comfortable with injecting what scientists made as the cure to the virus scientists made.
 -Some people are dying from covid … 
-Most people aren’t dying (from covid) -Some people put all their trust in scientists new cure
 -Some people will dismiss your concerns about the new cure citing “it’s science!!” 
 -Some people will blame and shame you for not wholly giving your heart, soul and mind…to the scientists new cure. 
-Some people will do research to see what they’re comfortable with. 
-Some people will take the vaccine
 -Some people won’t 
-Some will blame the others for not choosing their way 
-Some will try to control you through manipulation 
-Some will still die from covid 
-Some will laugh at the those who died for not making the same choice as them 
 -Some will blame the victims 
 -Some will choose to trust in Jesus
 -All will eventually die 
-All will give an account to God 

Which ones are you??

 Scientists created this virus …gain of function is the manipulation of a biological agent so that it confers new or enhanced activity to that agent. Scientists , in Wuhan specifically, were manipulating covid to increase transmutability and virulence between species ( bats to humans). 

 It is now scientists that are creating the fix to what science created. 

 There ARE victims in this …..it’s a moot point whether or not what scientists were doing was to inflict harm or to genuinely help people. The point is, they screwed up. Scientists are human too and prone to error. So forgive people when they don’t exactly trust the scientists as their saviors . And perhaps show some dignity when the victims of all of this science die from a disease that science made possible. Fear does crazy things to people. God gave us a conscience, let’s use it!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

religious exemption for the vaccine injection

I’ve been uncomfortable with this covid vaccine for many reasons: 

 -Death, vaccine injuries reported on vaers
 -Death of a person we know; injection, immediately followed by 2 days of illness and then a heart attack at the end of 48 hours.
 - arm paralysis for months following in a friend of one of our kids 
- the animal studies for this MRNA technology whereas no animal survived. 
^^^^to name a few . 

BUT, before ALL of this, I have to admit I was already uncomfortable with this looming new vaccine. I was actually open to it initially until I started understanding a major component of vaccine development. The fetal cell lines. 

From the beginning I’ve held a biblical conviction that made me feel very uneasy about taking this….even when I was concerned over the looming effects of Covid when so many people were hospitalized , knowing I have a history of pneumonia and terrible lungs believing this virus would likely end me when I got it . 

I was told the vaccines don’t use fetal tissue from babies who are aborted today, only fetal cell lines…I’ve been assured of this BY CHRISTIAN leaders , Everywhere, who were trying to put us at ease about our convictions not participate with any medical treatments that contained fetal cell tissue from aborted babies. 

So I set out to understand what a fetal cell line is. I’m told this gets a biblical pass because the fetal cell tissues we are using arent directly from the “electively “ aborted babies….they’re the lab created descendants of those babies. All 3 vaccine makers use fetal cell lines that we can trace back to a specific baby who was once growing in their mamas belly. 

 So the pharma companies actually know and can identify what the ethnicity, gender , and fetal age is of each baby “electively” aborted in the 1970s and 1980s that we draw this fetal cell line from. Their fetal tissue is cloned and grown in a lab and then used to confirm these vaccines. I’m always reminded by Christian leaders that we are generations removed from the original babys flesh ( fetal tissue) and then it’s always pointed out that this abortion was “elective”. 

That doesn’t sit right with me. First, because this baby didn’t elect to be aborted…someone else decided he/she should die…his/ her own parent(s). Second, because this vaccine wouldn’t exist without the death of these babies…these vaccines couldn’t be created without their original fetal cell tissue that we’ve been cloning for 40 years. It is these babies DNA we’re cloning. 

Why are we doing this?? So WE have a chance to live. Without the aborted babies “elective” death….none of this is possible. I don’t feel comfortable with that, I don’t want to participate in that. That sounds like child sacrifice to me…which cultures throughout history have participated in ( and still do today through abortion). The death of the innocent, so we can live….that’s what this vaccine promises us. And some say that God himself helped develop the vaccine through the scientists that developed them.

 Jesus WILLINGLY , as an adult, went to the cross for me. That was truly an elective death, for my benefit…..so I could live. Jesus chose “elected” to die for me. I can’t say the same about the babies who’s life was snuffed out decades ago….so I could live today.

 If I were facing a job loss today for my refusal to be injected…that is, hands down, the argument I would use for my “religious exemption” because that has been my primary conviction since early on. If anyone’s death was necessary to give me life…it was Jesus. I have no judgement for you if you, as a Jesus follower, have done the mental gymnastics to justify getting this injection…that is YOUR choice to make. Just please be respectful of the fact that there ARE valid reasons for saying no to this vaccine for many of us. I ask you to not make us the hated and despised enemy for standing on biblical convictions…..so help us God. 

My prayers are with you friends who are today facing job losses and being booted from universities and the public square for your convictions. Lord protect us all, in Jesus name.

Friday, July 30, 2021

Zeal- Go TELL THEM

They're coming...door to door vaccine advocates to persuade you into taking the vaccine. A coordinated effort by people who believe this vaccine is the messiah of humanity. 

 Believers, do we have that kind of zeal? Can we say the same about ourselves? Do we go door to door with the good news of Jesus Christ-the savior of mankind? No! When they come knocking, will you tell them about him then? They'll come with information, not meant to confront you, but to persuade you into getting a vaccine? Vaccine knockers will come to your door prepared to withstand your arguments against the vaccine with kindness, they'll be trained in it. Do we do that?? What's our response going to be? Are we trained in sharing Gods Word with that same hope and intention of getting through? Do we earnestly want to see people come to soul saving truth or do we just want to be right?? I have to check myself on this last point constantly!!!! Check your hearts! 

Believers: Jesus told us to TELL people about Him. Not only to tell others about him, BUT to tell them about His mercy and goodness on our behalf. No-one wants to hear about your good works, they are but filthy rags compared to His....tell them about Jesus good works that covered your sins and brokenness and changed your life. Humility will take you so far in sharing the message of the gospel. 

 Are you Lazarus, raised from the dead? Go and tell someone about how you were dead in your trespasses, which we used to walk, yet Jesus raised you to LIFE in CHRIST, Ephesians 2....TELL THEM!! 

Were you riddled with unclean spirits that bound you up in shackles and chains like a slave to your sin??? Has Jesus freed you from them?? TELL THEM!!!!! (Mark 5) 

Were you filled with PRIDE, marveling at the majestic work of your hands and intellect until you were brought LOW so the Lord could save you from yourself, only to restore you to Glory in HIM??? (Daniel 4)....TELL THEM!! 

Were you at the end of your own rope crushed in spirit and broken hearted , only to be handed a lifeline into eternity with Christ that pulled you out of the pit?? TELL THEM!!

 All those bible studies, sermons, youth groups...God ACTIVELY working in the details of your life sustaining you...TELL THEM. 

What's the point otherwise? If we can get excited about a diet or a TV show, or some new product...surely we shouldn't hold back when it comes to the gospel.

 So when they come knocking, be excited! Sure, they have a hastily made vaccine that may or may not protect you from Covid with an extremely shitty record of adverse reactions. You, on the other hand, have Jesus; a bullet proof, soul saving, LIFE giving, sin covering, strength and endurance maker who has overcome the world....WE should be knocking on their doors!! So, TELL THEM when they come...and be humble about it....remember "AS SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU" (1 Corinthians 6)

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Walmart customer service

Jens series of unfortunate events , episode 3,456:

 I'm on the phone with a friend who is driving in her car who suddenly starts yelling "oh no!!, what happened??!! awww, shoot!!, Let me call you right back, click."

 She calls back ...."I don't know what to do.....I found a bunch of groceries laying in the middle of the road between Walmart and Meijers...they must have fallen off someone's truck?? There's sheets, toilet paper, strawberries...(she's rifling through all this stuff), paper towels, hotdog buns...oh someone's going to be so upset....there's like four bags of stuff here I just picked up from the middle of the road! What do I do with all this stuff?...why did I even stop??"

 I told her to take them back to Walmart, "I'll call ahead and let them know you're coming in case the people who lost their stuff call Walmart in the meantime looking for their stuff, they'll know its on its way." 

So, I'm sitting on my deck with Ruby and my neighbors dog who I had just grabbed for a playdate. I call Walmart...I'm on hold for what seems like FOREVER...10 minutes passes by...I decide to go in the house and get each of these dogs a treat. I come outside with 2 treats in my left hand..Walmart hold music still playing on speakerphone in my right hand. "Sit", I sternly command the dogs...They both sit.

 "Hello, Walmart curtesy desk", comes the voice from my cellphone as I simultaneously and accidentally fumble ONE dog treat on the ground between the two pups.....the dogs start fighting to what sounds like the death over this treat. Ruby's got her full on Cujo face on display. I'm screaming like an absolute nutjob because it sounds like they're trying to kill each other over this two cent Aldi treat....I'm screaming and scrambling towards them as the phone falls out of my hand to break up what sounds like a death match.......they break up 17 seconds later. Its quiet for a second when suddenly I hear a voice from my phone: 

"Hello?"...its still the Walmart guy.

 I catch my breath and grab the phone....my heart is POUNDING, "I'm SO sorry, that was literally the craziest timing for you to pick up this line,lol"....it must have sounded like Michael Vicks backyard pre 2008. 

 I don't know if the people ever recovered their groceries. The dogs were both fine, I was thoroughly embarrassed. This would never have happened if it were Meijers groceries....another Walmart experience on record.

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Cancelled Flights and Clean Underwear

Zoe and I woke up at 5am so she could drive me across the state to the airport in Hartford and be back in time for work at the base. She dropped me off at the United airlines terminal and drove away before I realized they’d cancelled my flight.

 I stood at the service counter for 30 minutes while an attendant searched flights for me. By the time she realized there was a flight to Grand Rapids instead of Muskegon( my original flight), she missed it focusing intently on Muskegon flights, and the gates to the plane that could have been had just been shut. She promised me they would cover my hotel for the inconvenience and find me a flight. 45 minutes later I was booked on a 6am flight for the next day, only 24 hours later , and she also then told me her supervisor would NOT cover my hotel cost as the cause of cancellation was “weather”.

 So I shuffled off to the Sheraton hotel attached to the airport and handed over several hundred dollars to the very hip and heavily slanged speaking youthful man commanding the check in desk like he owned the place. 

 “Heya, yo ma….my lunch starts at 12:00 if you wanna do sumptin wit dat?”

 “Is he asking me to join him for his lunch break !?” I quizzically wondered to myself.

 He must have been all of 22 years old and looked like a member of One Direction…Harry Stiles, is that his name? I realized as he’d spoken, he had handed me a sheet of paper with the menu printed on it for room service and then it dawned on me he perhaps was just telling me when room service food was available. I asked him just to clarify and he looked at me like his mom just asked him to go to a Cardi B concert with him. We both breathed a sigh of relief when we realized the miscommunication. 

 So, I literally spent nearly my ENTIRE day yesterday in a hotel room eating room service and watching a 9 hour marathon of The Godfather 1 and 2 ( with commercials) on AMC. I believe this is the first time I’ve ever had my flight cancelled in all my years of travel. I have missed my flight on my own accord, but cancelled? Never. 

 I washed my underwear in the hotel sink last night , and hung it up to dry. It only took 7 hours on a hotel room towel rack, an hour long hike through airport security, 20 minutes at the gate, and half of my two and a half hour flight for it to complete its drying cycle. 😂

 I had to fix my perspective. If I was living hundreds of years ago, I’d be traveling home by a wagon wheel caravan. It would have taken us months to arrive at our destination and it’s likely that some of us would have died along the way. I think I’m still better off. Only 3.5 hours left in this airport before my final flight. I wonder if I can fit Godfather 3 in the schedule here?

Dog Park Drama

I’m in the dog park tonight with Ruby, Search, and Destroy. It’s a giant rectangular grass patch that’s fenced in for…..you guessed it: dogs. There’s this sort of old dugout structure that my boys like to climb inside the dog park.

 We’re standing around with four other dogs and their owners having a great time laughing at the dogs when this kid, maybe eight years old, runs over from a soccer game in the field not far from us. The kid opens the gate and runs over to this dugout wall…the dogs are chasing him and we’re all yelling at the dogs to stop because the dogs love a good chase. The kid makes it but we’re all a little concerned he’s now on this roof and there’s no parent around watching him.

 Next thing you know, 3 more kids come running over, they open the gates and also come inside the dog park. One of them is maybe 4/5 years old. All the puppies in the park are excited and want to jump on these kids…the little one starts screaming….we’re all yelling at the dogs trying to hold them down …an older kid tells us the little guy is afraid of dogs…we’re like “this probably isn’t a great place to be then”.

 Finally, a grownup comes over from the soccer field…the kids still crying and we say “ he’s okay, I think he’s just scared of the dogs…this might not be the best place for him.” 

“Well , get control of your dogs then!!!” He starts screaming at all of us standing there……..IN THE DOG PARK. He comes in the dog park and the kids all want to play on this dugout wall thing….IN THE DOG PARK.

 He continues yelling at us about controlling our dogs. One old lady is like “oh it’s on” she’s about to go all in on this guy….I’m like “don’t, just let it go.” . She says to me “I hope he steps in dog shit then .” 😂

 So my boys are literally holding Ruby, my 14 pound dog so she can’t jump on these kids…IN THE DOG PARK. He yells at us some more. I tell him he’s doing a great job, mostly because I thought he was nuts and I didn’t want to get shot…you never know? I didn’t even know how to respond, it didn’t make any sense. 

He finally left with the kids.

 I thought, for just a second, about bringing Ruby over to the soccer field, dropping her off and letting her run rampant through their game , and then complaining to them for playing soccer, on the soccer field while my dog was trying to play. I restrained myself 🙂 Dog parks are for dogs.

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

That time I went to London

I just ended up in the middle of a blind date at a coffee shop in New London, CT 😂 This man was waiting for his date and we started talking, he thought his date stood him up.

 She finally showed up late….and then Kami and I ended up having the most fascinating conversation with one another while poor Paul could barely get a word in 😬 

 She grew up in Denver, going to the Sunrise ranch spiritual community (Stephanie Heart Powers), where one of my very good friends lived and learned. She told me her dad wrote his “own book” about religion and was on his own path. Her mom is “fanatical Christian” today. She’s recovering from her parents as an adult today. 

 This turned into the most intense conversation about childhoods and parenting and suffering and trauma and of course, Jesus!!! I just LOVE when the Lord orchestrates my day!!

 Eventually the Lord pulled her into a zoom class and Paul and I had a great conversation about faith…He’s recently returning to his catholic faith ( in his sixties) and trying to find the way. Oh how I love the Lord . 

 Two days ago Zoe and I were in a diner having breakfast in this same little town across the bay from Long Island when a Jewish man asked me a very odd question. I went to the counter to ask for a coffee refill when he turned to me and said “may I ask you a question?” I obliged , and then he proceeded to ask if “that woman over there”, while pointing at zoe, “was my wife?”

 “No, she is my daughter” I answered….and then I pondered what an absolutely bizarre world it is that we’re living in where a strangers first thought would be that my daughter, 21 years my junior, is my wife, and I wandered back to our booth.

 He stopped by and told Zoe and I that he wanted to strike up a conversation, but then noticed my wedding ring….and recently he’d tried to strike up conversations with 3 other women who all had girlfriends who were angered at the threat of his conversation with their person. 

So I told him I would give him the same advice I give my daughter. 

1. Love Jesus first 
2. Then, if you’re near some people you’re finding desirable for marriage , tell them about Jesus. You will find that most of them will flee…if perhaps there is one girl still standing there that isn’t scared away by your love of Jesus…then marry that girl.

 He was very rattled by my advice because he’d noticed my Star of David and asked how I came to believe in Jesus as he told me he was a Sephardic Jew. So I told him my story of how Jesus used the Hebrew Scriptures to draw me and then read Isaiah 53 to him. 

Well, he was very perturbed by the entire thing and started to rebut it all in a very Incoherent way, speaking of astral planes and how Isaiah is just saying we need to be good people in Isaiah 53. But I read it again, because it is so clear…Whom is Isaiah speaking of???? And I kept him focused there….he eventually was perturbed and rattled enough that he told me he doesn’t agree and he walked away. He walked out of the diner and passed our window booth as he walked along the sidewalk. It was wonderful because I could visibly see both the offense and the wheels turning in his brain. He was struggling with the truth he’d just been presented with. I pray Lord for you to send more with water and fertilizer to grow the seed of truth that was just planted. There are no coincidences, may God be glorified-in Jesus’ name.

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Conversations

Entrance:

 Really being mindful of my entrance into conversations and trying to figure out what works/doesn’t work. Literally had to stop myself from starting a conversation with “wow, your head is getting really tan and shiny” to a bald man. Filter activated. I just stared at him, thought it through and then walked away instead. I consider that a win.

 Exit:

 Because I’m consistently inconsistent, it only makes sense that I’m a social person who’s socially awkward. Im okay 25% of the time( perhaps I’m being generous); then there’s moments where my social skills fail me. I had a recent conversation that was pretty heavy for the person on the other side that I wanted to encourage ....after some time , it was time for me to go and I literally just said “well”, and then I walked away...i froze and I couldn’t think of anything to add to “well”, but my feet were already in motion. I think I need to work on my entrance and exit strategies (amongst many other things). I apologize to everyone who’s had to converse with me, it’s not you, it’s me...I’m just not always so great at it and I sometimes walk away mumbling “what is wrong with you??” to myself. 🙂

 2 weeks later... Talking to some very friendly elderly neighbors I passed on my walk yesterday evening. I’ve noticed a few things about myself as I’m focused on my convo entrance/exits. Because I sincerely suck at exiting conversations, I’ll just keep rambling on and on because I don’t know how to get out of it. I probably wanted to quit the conversation 10 minutes ago, I just didn’t know how to. 

 So I’m in the road conversing with this nice couple, rambling like an idiot about my cats and God knows what else . Simultaneously, I’m trying to recall the well executed exit strategy I’d heard recently...how did that go again?? clap my hands one time , then say “well I’m going to grab some coffee for intermission now.” 

 Shoot, no that won’t make any sense, it’s nearly 9 pm...what kind of psychopath drinks coffee at 9 pm? Coffee does actually sound pretty good right now , I wonder if Starbucks is still open? Oh wait, what are they saying to me right now? Did they just ask me a question? How can I end this?!?!

 So please for the love, if I’m rambling on and the conversation, per usual, has clearly passed its expiration date, just do me a favor ( if you’re ever unfortunate enough to be in one of these conversations with me)...wrap it up for me...I’m terrible at it. Give me like the finger in the air swirl or something. I’ll probably say “well” and then walk away and you will have succeeded.

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

My Mormon Church experience

We are terrible people. We were graciously invited to my friends church yesterday to hear him speak. Our church didn’t have Bible study this week so we had a chance to jet to his church and hear him speak and still make our 11 am service on time. 

 We sat down in this brightly lit room and their worship started. They don't play instruments, it was all singing. Let me tell you, these people ALL sounded like angels. It was incredible, I’ve never in my life heard so many people in one room with vocal chords that worked so well.

 We both have awful singing voices . Without the loud speakers and instruments to drown our voices out, we could both hear each other…and it was bad. So we’re sitting there (it’s a sit and sing church) , holding a music sheet singing along and Jeff starts giggling because we sound so bad in contrast to the people around us. It was noticeably bad. 

 Then Jeff started giggling. That made me giggle. The fact that we were giggling made us both giggle more . I whispered to him not to giggle again, I tried to stop it. He tried, but every 7 seconds he would giggle again until I was in an uncontrollable laughing fit. 

 During my laughing fit, Im sobering up to the fact that the lyrics being sung by the angelic voices around us are about Jesus’ horrific bloody agonizing death on the cross on our behalf….while we’re laughing. I realize how completely inappropriate it is to be laughing during THIS particular song…and somehow, in addition to us both causing each other to laugh, the gravity of the situation makes us both laugh harder. We’re both in an all out laughing fit…I’m laughing so hard, I was actually crying… I had to put my head between my knees to try and contain myself…..several times.

 This goes in my top ten Jens an idiot moments of my life, and there are plenty of moments. We just couldn’t stop. Yes I apologized to my friend…he said he didn’t notice. 

Y’all can’t take us anywhere. Where is the worst place you found yourself in a derailed giggle fit? Any funerals??

Friday, June 4, 2021

What color is Jesus?

I read a proclamation on social media not long ago from a pastor ...it went something like this “my leader is a brown Jewish man named Jesus”. 

 First, It’s awesome that someone will openly admit to following Jesus and commit their life to preaching Gods Word ( their feet are beautiful!) 

Second, it’s entirely possible that Jesus was “brown”. I went to Hebrew school with a sect of Ethiopians who were Jewish and very dark skinned. But He also may have been “white”, as many Jewish people are. The Bible doesn’t tell us his skin color...either way, and I think the omission of it is worth noting. It only tells us that he was despised and rejected, that He had no beauty that we should desire Him( Isaiah 53).

 I understand the sentiments of a white gentile believer wanting to add that Jesus was “brown”. You’re trying to break the American church away from the perception of Jesus looking like a Swedish tennis player and crush racism , I get it. It’s just that the scriptures don’t say that...just as they don’t say He was “white”. Maybe we don’t need to add to Gods Word? . Perhaps it is Intentional He didn’t tell us . The Lords focus has never been on outward appearance...it’s always our hearts. 

 Will you still follow Him if He’s white? Will you still follow Him if He’s black? That’s the heart issue. No need to add to Jesus to serve itching ears...Hes enough and so is His Word.

 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

Why dogs need seatbelts

Rubys growing up, 12.5 pounds! I took her for a car ride to Rycengas last week to drop off samples. When I opened my driver side door to get out she leaped from the passenger seat right out the door and ran into the road between Home Depot and Rycengas. I almost had a heart attack. By the grace of God there were no cars on the road which is a downright miracle because that’s always a busy road filled with every kind of vehicle and semi trucks! She circled back and ran towards Rycenga. I was frantic trying to figure out what I’d do when she ran back towards the road again; I’d have to halt traffic and chase her mangy red self weaving in and out of cars until I could catch her...which I might never be able to do. 

 It was in that moment of anticipating the looming disaster that a gentlemen walked out of Rycenga. This caused Ruby to race towards him with fanatic ecstasy, feverishly wagging her tail, jumping all over his lower extremities and also peeing with excitement all over his legs and shoes. “Please grab her if you can, she jumped out of my car!” I screamed in the middle of my panic attack. 

 I was fortunate he was laughing the entire time, He hadn’t realized just yet she’d peed all over him. He grabbed Ruby for me. I thanked him profusely, apologized profusely for her bladder control, and then stuffed her back in my minivan . She is never allowed to leave the house again and I have 10 more grey hairs than I did the week before. This dog is exhausting!!!

Monday, May 3, 2021

"Demo" Crat

Darby just told me he thought the word “democrat” was an extension of the word “demo”, like when you get a free version of something...you demo something.

 “Like when they give us a free version of a video game to demo....isn’t that what it means because democrats always want free stuff?”

 I thought he was joking, then Cooper said “I’ve thought the same thing”...then I realized they’re both being totally serious, lolol. Now that I think about it, it’s pretty logical thinking on their part.

Friday, April 30, 2021

Mammogram passports

I had to get my mammogram this afternoon. I was going to take some selfies of my boobs in the pancake press with my mammogram passport card next to my hysterically happy, freakishly too gleeful face for such an occasion; but to my dismay, there was no “I got my mammogram” card supplied to me to shove in your faces and prove what an exceptionally good person I am....a hero some might say. Y’all will just have to take my word for it. 

 I’ve now saved humanity with my mammogram. 

 Why did I do it?? Because I truly love people, unlike 50% of the population who refuse to get a mammogram- those awful deplorable creatures we call “men”. I can assure you, my sacrifice had nothing to do with personal reasons for my own health, but truly my gift to the world...I’m just that much better than you. 

 On my way in I grabbed a paper medical mask, held it against my breathing hole and said “hello” to the receptionist man. He told me I must strap it all the way behind my ears...”what if I have a medical exemption?” I wondered allowed. “oh, -and have you heard the cdc news today?” I asked before I’d securely placed the paper loops around my ears. He told me they don’t allow for medical exemptions ....tough crowd. I obliged and strapped the paper to my face - around my ears- and sat down to check in with the kind woman in the tiny cubicle facing us. My glasses immediately fogged up as the check in lady directly across from me asked me how I was doing. “Well I can’t breathe or see anything” I muffled from behind the paper mask and now thoroughly fogged up spectacles .The lady started hysterically laughing , I lowered the mask below my nose to catch a breath and took off my glasses. She didn’t mind at all, she was still laughing too hard. The receptionist man a few feet away was not laughing, he was calling in security.

 I was sent to the mammogram waiting area within view while the security guard and receptionist man curiously looked in my direction...as I’d slip my mask off now and again to drink my coffee and breathe. The receptionist man whispering his concerns over me to the clearly “tired of all of this” security guard. Soon after, the mammogram woman saved me from my impending arrest? Honestly, the security guard seemed more bothered by the receptionist man complaining about me than he did about my imperfectly worn mask sitting literally in the middle of nobody.

 The mammogram woman was awesome, she didn’t seem to give a hoot about my mask. I did ask if I was permitted to breathe. Thankfully she allowed me , a grown woman, to breathe without my nose being restricted so I wouldn’t pass out during my mammogram. I just thought you all should know. You can thank me next time you see me...if you don’t thank me, don’t worry... I’ll make sure it’s the first thing I tell you in case you forget...”ahem...I just had my mammogram...I did it for you....you’re welcome.” Perhaps I will inspire all those selfish men out there to get their own mammograms.

Monday, April 12, 2021

A Term of Endearment

I’ve come to realize my own modern equivalent to the mantra old timers would tell me as a youth in the 1980s...”Kid, when I was your age, I had to walk 8 miles to school in the snow with bread bags over my shoes...both ways!” 

What do I tell the youth today as the current old lady of 2021 that would shock them??

 “Kid, when I was your age, I called my best friend a spaghetti eating Dago Wop....and then she’d turn around and call me a greedy dirty tent dwelling Jew. 

Then we both laughed our heads off and weren’t offended.” ......The “good old days “ when we could all laugh at ourselves and each other without fear of being cancelled by the earth. Making fun of each other used to be a term of endearment. You think that concept would even compute in the mind of our youth today?

Sunday, April 11, 2021

The Saints Will Judge the World

We’ve had a trying last seven days in the Stuppy household. There was something the Lord was trying to tell me. It started with a bible study last Sunday that touched on this verse:

 “Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases?” 1 Corinthians 6:2

 It’s the first line in this scripture that caught me: . “The saints will judge the world”.... 

There’s biblical evidence that Gods people will reign with Christ in a millennial Kingdom ON earth. It’s some far out unfulfilled prophecy that I’ve not heard many churches preach on...but it’s there. Believers will “judge” the earth. Now there are really great teachers out there that can expand on the millennial Kingdom prophecy ..that’s not what I’m going to do here ...instead, I’m going to walk you through what happened when THIS verse really grabbed me Sunday and how I knew God was trying to teach me something.

 Sunday morning - this verse stood out among everything and I kept pondering it. 

Sunday afternoon- a very dramatic call was made to me where I had to weigh a VERY difficult decision. I mulled it over, I prayed over it . I reached out to other believers for counsel. I considered my motives, had other believers talk through my motives with me. I made a decision, thinking it was right...but still knowing that in the end , other people affected may either understand my decision, or be upset with me over it. But the decision was given to me to make...and I couldn’t avoid it or get out of making a decision. So I made a judgement call. 

 Later that night I brought this verse up again jokingly to my small group because we were talking about our own sin struggles with judging other people...past and present. I jokingly referenced this same verse like, “hey, it's all good, one day God will put you in a position to be a judge”. 

I still kept pondering it all.

 A few days later , I was writing Zoe who has always struggled with the weightiness of making decisions. In a nutshell, she doesn't like making decisions. I always tell her “ You don’t have to figure out the answer to everything  today...just do the thing God has right in front of you on this day. Work on THAT decision. It’s those little steps of obedience. She has had some really awesome success getting this concept. 

So writing this letter to her this week about this verse and how God continually gives us these hard decisions to make...that it’s for a purpose. It occurred to me  that we're all being trained in this life...there are perpetual opportunities for us to do homework, if you will. A test of our judgement. A chance to make better judgements. And it’s doesn't end as long as we have breath in our lungs. Sometimes we get it right, and sometimes, meh...not so much....ALL OF US. But the Lord doesn’t leave us there. Even if we fail, he sends us another matter to weigh, more homework to practice. It’s a gift. He’s hopeful we’ll eventually get it right. He’s hopeful , even when we get it wrong...He always gives us more trials to endure...more matters to weigh, more steps of obedience to take. He’s forming judges and His people to reign with Him.  He is the Teacher, we are the students. Pay attention, class is in session!

 I'm trying to explain to Zoe that it’s okay if she’s failed, failures don’t define us...God is graceful with us and gives us more opportunities. As I’m writing this all, I look over to see our new puppy pooped on the kitchen floor. I walk over,  pick up the poop...put her paw on the back door bell hanging from the door ...carry her and her poop outside to the place she’s supposed to poop and  hope she gets it right next time . We still love her, even though she keeps pooping in the house...we’re still hopeful she’ll eventually stop pooping in the house one day. We’re training her to get it right. One day at a time. Let God form you, small steps of obedience friends. Even WHEN( not if) you fail...get up and try it again. The Lord has a future for you. Just try and get the correction, don't poop on the floor forever...that's no good.

 The day I wrote that letter to Zoe and then explained it all to both a friend and my husband...that SAME night..I took the boys to youth group. On the way to youth group,  at 6 pm, my  radio started playing a sermon on the the radio dial  set from the prior day.  The pastor had just begun, and his words will filling my car. He started with that SAME passage about the "saints judging the earth", then  proceeded to give an entire sermon on this exact issue. I’ve never even heard a pastor preach on this scripture before...but imagine that...there it was. That’s a wink from my God. Message received 🙂

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Social Media Modesty

Girls, we get it...you’re pretty. You don’t have to dress skanky with your boobs on a platter to show off your “cooking skills” or “your cute dog” on social media . If you have a sexy photo shoot...cool! Save them for your husband?? Your future romantic partner?? Your mother?? ...or maybe even your girl friends who come over and drink wine with you ? I don’t need to see it. Your grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, old bosses , prolly don’t want to see you with your pants off and sultry cleavage on display like you’re a window Hooker in Amsterdam. You look great, you don’t need the affirmation from us. You’re worth more than that! Y’all really want a bunch of pervy guys sitting in their bathrooms on the toilet ogling over your skanky pictures??

 I don’t know if it’s the new gold chains holding up my readers or what, but I feel empowered suddenly to go full commando with unsolicited advice! I’m not 65 yet, but man am I feeling wise!!! Y’all got to get these spectacle chains! Not sorry, someone needed to say it!

Library rules

I walked in the library with Darby today wearing my clear face mask- I like to wear it so he can read my lips- he’s got pretty significant hearing loss. 

 Those librarians rushed me from so many angles, you would have thought I came in topless. For a moment I felt like a necked field streaker at the Super Bowl. Literally three different librarians came rushing at me from three  different directions over my clear face mask, with their “appropriate” face coverage in hand ready to slap over my face. 

For a split second, I considered  outmaneuvering all three of them , gallantly streaking across the entire library floor, past the biographies, straight through fiction, before I’d escape out the back door jumping in my getaway minivan. But I kindly spared Darby the humiliation and let him just stroll through the library without me as I walked out the door , lol. He still needed a ride home after all.

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Revelation Boobs

I went to a local church recently to hear a bible study covering the book of revelation. At one point, the pastor drew a pair of eyes that were forward looking on the white board 👀 . Everyone started laughing. So I looked up to see what he drew and saw, what appeared to me, like a pair of boobs.

 I made a joke later about it to his wife as she was leaving the bathroom. Talking to Jeff later that day about the study I mentioned something about it, like “hey, wasn’t that funny when his drawing looked like boobs”. “What are you talking about”? he asked. I explained and he says “that’s not at all what happened.!” Why was everyone laughing then”? “Because his drawing looked like clouds and not much at all like eyes, they were just laughing at his poor artistry” He tells me. “But I saw boobs, I thought everyone was laughing because it looked like boobs...”oh dear God, I made a joke to the pastors wife about him drawing boobs!” 

"What did she say?” ... 
“Well nothing, she just smiled and walked out of the bathroom”.

 “Oh no, oh God no, what have I done?” Now I’m over here praying that everyone else saw boobs except my husband....is that an acceptable prayer request? Otherwise I can’t even imagine what this pastors wife thinks of me. I’m having a really hard time trying to figure out how to ask her. “Hey, a few weeks ago...you saw boobs right??, that wasn’t clouds we were laughing at, it was boobs...we all saw boobs?” That wouldn’t be awkward. I’d be digging my hole deeper if she didn’t see boobs. $100 says 90% of that room saw boobs. If not, please pray for me, ....I really hope the Lord has a sense of humor , if He doesn’t , I’m in SO.MUCH.TROUBLE!

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Upper body strength

In TJ Max last night with Miles. A grown woman wearing 2 face masks tightly pressed against 65 percent of her face with coverage up to her spectacle protected eyeballs sees me with a mask hanging right below the tip of my nose in an effort to breathe. She stops, dead in her tracks, faces my direction , and attempts to burn holes through me with her stare. Her posture was reminiscent of my cat winding up to pounce on some unsuspecting bird frolicking in the yard. But I wasn’t unsuspecting; when she gave me the laser daggers , I looked right back into her cold cruel eyes and smiled until my eyes made her aware of the beaming unashamed happiness beneath my face cloth. Then I said “hello”. I wouldn’t look away away until I was certain she wouldn’t become more aggressive than her stare. I won’t lie, I was disappointed she didn’t try to verbally attack me . I’ve had variations of this moment scripted, that I’ve been rehearsing in my mind for months now and they’re pretty funny. I’ve always been curious if id forget my lines on the main stage. I just hope no one ever tries to physically assault me because I have no upper body strength outside being mouthy, which is technically located on my upper body.

Monday, March 22, 2021

Psychoanalyzing white privilege and CRT

I think I know what might be happening. Some people, who are white , grew up, were given much by their family members, felt guilty about it as they got older and became more successful in life; more successful than they would have been if it depended on their own God given talents and merit. 

 Perhaps they came from a household that was openly racist? Maybe these white people grew up believing that they were better than everyone else. Now they're grown up and they realize it's not true. Maybe they did live in a white bubble, didn't personally know any one who wasn't white, and the only thing they knew of minorities was what they saw on the nightly news and heard their racist family members saying...so they stereotyped minorities as all being one and the same based on crime stories of a few. So, the white privilege narrative works on them because they are genuinely convicted over their own sin of racism; theres some truth to it for them, so they'll take any ideology that runs alongside it...this is all hypothetical ,mind you....just trying to make sense of how the white privilege narrative has gained traction. 

 If this is you and you want to fess up and relieve yourself the guilt of unmerited success in life or racist views you or your family have held, I can totally respect that, I applaud it actually...if you were racist and you see the error of it and repent of it...bravo friend, seriously!

 This is where the rub starts---If I think about a person growing up in a bubble, who has stereotyped people by their skin colors...I can see you think you must attribute your current feelings and life experience with anyone that has the same skin color as you. Just like you used to stereotype minorities based on the news of some....NOW you're stuck in that same habit, except you're stereotyping all white people based on your lived experience and guilt. 

 Maybe its worth pointing out?....you're still stereotyping people based on their skin color...that's still wrong...conviction over personal sin is not wrong though. Again, openly for your genuine repentance. 

 Get schooled up on some MLK..."I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." Heed those words...CONTENT OF CHARACTER, NOT SKIN. STOP STEROTYPING PEEPS BASED ON THEIR GOD GIVEN SKIN COLORS! We're not all the same....I mean, we all have different sin issues we're dealing with, but we don't all sin the same. Everyone that has your skin color is not you. Everyone that doesn't have your skin color, also not all exactly the same as one another. There is ample diversity in people...diversity that is more than skin deep.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

Pro parenting tip # 3,407

Pro-parenting tip #3,407...for the moms. 

 Can’t get your tweens or teenage boys to put their electronics away? You take them away only to find out they discovered your hiding spot and are sitting in the bathroom watching YouTube videos again. When you hide their stuff...wherever you put it...throw your biggest ugliest underwear and bra on top of that, they won’t go anywhere near it!




Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Gotcha!

I’m by the resort pool trying to read a book and these two little Italian tan skinned east coast 12 year olds with braces , let’s call them Bada bing and Bada Bang, well they’re in the shallow end of the pool near me trying to trick everyone that walks by like your typical 12 year old might ...”Excuse me sir, you dropped your dollar”, as some puzzled looking stranger looks behind himself confused before they continue where ever it was they were headed to. Then these two knuckleheads just cackle and say something highly inappropriate to each other involving a mans intimate parts. Old lady comes waltzing by...”excuse me mam, you dropped your dollar”. They said this same stupid line to at least 14 people waltzing by. I’m watching the whole stupid thing like it’s an episode of jersey shore Beavis and Butthead.

 Finally, I notice one of these kids is wearing a thick gold chain with a cross on the front of it; so  I say “Hey kid, is that your gold necklace at the bottom of the pool?” He looks panicked for a second as he looks at the pools bottom while simultaneously reaching for the precious gold chain around his neck to find it’s still on him. He just looks at me and I smile and pat my own back a few times and say “gotcha”. I might as well just go to bed, this day has been a success.

Monday, March 8, 2021

Disney during Covid Plandemic

Darby can tell you any disaster story that’s ever happened at Disney, it’s impressive. He knows every horror story, historical fact, highlights,lowlights of every single facet of the Magic Kingdom. He even knew why the hall of presidents was shut down..they’re working on Joe Biden’s model. He can explain the entire splash mountain charge of racism saga. 

 On the ferry ride over ..”mom, that’s treasure island, a boy died when it was a water park. A parasite got into his brain and killed him in the 1980s. Then they turned it into a zoo called discovery island”.

 Standing in line for space mountain...”mom, two people died on this ride...the first was a make a wish foundation kid. He died during the ride, came back in the car dead. Another person died from a piece of metal dislodging and hitting them during the ride....came back in the car mutilated bloody and dead.”

 Standing in line for it’s a small world ...” mom- people say theyve seen a ghost of a dead kid hanging from the ceiling by a rope on this ride”. 

 The commentary really added an element to Disney I’ve never experienced on previous trips. This kid could seriously run a Disney dark history tour.

 The weather was awesome, the park is a little weird...different than what I’ve experienced in the past. Mind you, I’m not a HUGE Disney fan by any stretch of the imagination. The employees don’t speak to you much except to remind you over and over and over and over to make sure your mask is pulled up above your nose. They don’t smile, say hello, their job is 90% to keep reminding you to pull your mask up over your nose “all the way”...a woman next to me got told hers wasn’t down her chin far enough. Another fella and his family got tossed for not complying enough. I don’t think they make masks big enough to do what they want you to do with them...maybe they just want you to buy theirs? Darby was worried about the safety bar on space mountain...he asked the employee to check it...she reminded him to keep his mask pulled up all the way, ignored his lap bar question and sent him into the outer darkness. 

 There’s dots everywhere to stand on, everything is spread out. They even spread out the ride cars they fill up, you can see in the pics. The wait times were awesome, I don’t think we waited more than 45 minutes for anything. And that 45 minute wait was only on pirates of the Caribbean ride where we got stuck behind this couple “in love”...the guy mostly in love with his girlfriends but cheeks because we were stuck watching him handle that girls but cheeks the entire time! That wasn’t awkward, lol...I even took a picture of what we had to look at for 45 minutes...I spared you the worst of it. But with most the other lines being much shorter and lacking PDA, we actually got to go in at least 10 “rides”. 

 There’s plexiglass and hand sanitizer everywhere. Little kids still lick the handrails. Parents all still look miserable schlepping their tired toddlers around. Princesses on floats don’t need to wear masks. Small marching bands don’t need to wear masks ( even the drummers). You can take your mask off to eat and drink. I had a cup in my hands AT ALL TIMES for the moments I needed to breathe...that’s how I survived the day...well that and that I don’t have toddlers to chase around anymore. So if you’re headed here, if you can pull off a decent Snow White, good enough to convince park employees you’re the real deal, or play a tuba...you might be able to get away without a mask. Otherwise, you just suck it up and drink and eat as much as you possibly can throughout the day. 

 Oh and bonus for the day , a woman sitting next to me on a bench while I was drinking coffee had a duck fly into her head while we were chatting...so that was flipping hilarious. 😂 Taking tomorrow off from the parks.





Dobby

Darby still working on his “R” sound, lol ...he was so annoyed when he saw this, lolol.



Friday, March 5, 2021

Search and Destroy- Orlando

We’re at the resort pool last night. I’m curiously watching this woman swimming laps in the pool with two masks over her face and I’m talking to this young man from New Orleans, a tuba player, here with his band to play a 3 week gig at universal studios. Search and Destroy are both in the hot tub, when the outdoor alarm goes off and people start scattering in every direction. I’m like “what did my kids do?”. Turns out someone asked Cooper to hit the button for the hot tub jets, he hit the big red emergency button instead. I just see him pacing back and forth in humiliation, lolol. Priceless.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Orlando 2021 Spring Break

The frontier flight: Cooper- row 1, Me-exit row 13, and Darby, back in row 16... hands down the most turbulent flight I’ve experienced in my lifetime. Lights were flickering on and off, sounded like the top of the plane hit something, I had my barf bag ready...did I mention Ive been watching Lost, season 1 with search and destroy these last few weeks?? Yeah the show about plane turbulence that ended in a plane crash with only a fraction of the passengers surviving....talk about bad timing to start a show. 

We all survived, I didn’t throw up, Florida is delightfully warm ( I won’t complain about the heat until day 3). I was able to run fast enough with the twins by my side to the car rental place knocking the elderly and disabled out of my way to NOT end up at the back of the car rental line saving us at least what appeared to be a six hour wait by the look of misery on the peoples faces behind us . I’m usually a nice person, but all bets are off when it comes to the car rental line. Our rental car stinks of weed and only plays Latino radio stations. 

 Best of all, we got to our resort to find out it is literally right behind the Checkers burger joint with a catapult your kid into space ride, run by an operator with two teeth in his head guy for $50. Miles begged me to let him do this 5 years ago when we stopped at Checkers for a quick burger in old town. I watched in horror as this toothless burnout headbanged it out to Skid row blaring over the loudspeakers as he strapped my then 15 year old into his seat to send him 300 feet into the dark sky screaming out of my sight ...me on the ground videotaping the whole thing wondering if I was the most reckless parent alive to allow this. Miles survived five years ago so I might let search and destroy have a go at it this year...how could I not? It’s literally walking distance from our place, lol. There’s raccoons running around this resort, we have our own private hot tub, theres a lady in this very uncrowded outdoor swimming pool, doing the breast stroke, wearing two masks over her face. Wawa is only a five minute drive from here, Magic Kingdom Park is tomorrow. I’m wearing two Fanny packs at once. This.is.Orlando....I have a feeling we’re going to really enjoy this trip!! 🙂 

Yes that’s Darby pictured there in the front of the line at the economy car rental place with no a/c standing in front of the most miserable people on earth this afternoon.



Tuesday, February 23, 2021

National Puppy Day

“When your dog starts digging, get an empty soda can, fill it with coins, cover the top with duct tape...then throw the can near her once she starts to dig...the loud can will scare her and she’ll stop digging” they said

 She ate the can. I don’t think she’s scared of the can...she did stop digging for a minute though 🤷‍♀️ 

 Happy national puppy day????







Sunday, February 14, 2021

Happy Valentines snapchat filter Day

True love is your husband letting you use a Snapchat filter to post your Valentine’s Day picture, even though it adds mascara and eye makeup to his face, he knows it will make me feel better to look 20 years younger , lolol. 

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” 1 Corinthians. 

I have both a God who loves me like this And a husband who strives to love me like this , which makes me BLESSED!! Women, prayer moves mountains, never stop praying and believing, God is FULL of grace!



Sunday, January 3, 2021

Top of my list of 2020 accomplishments:

 Now able to swallow 9 vitamins of multiple sizes (3 pretty large) at once without gagging. It took a few months to get there, but here I am. #overcomer 

Accomplishment #2: Able to anger people by breathing. I used to have to actually form words and sentences using my mouth...now all I have to do is breathe. 

 Accomplishment #3- homeschooling...who on earth ever thought I could pull that off? Not me. I just bought my kids a microscope so we can study nuclei!! what??!!!! 🙂 

 2020 has had its ups and downs. Bills are UP, and income is DOWN 🙂 but God is on the throne and I am SO grateful to be alive in 2020. If I've learned anything this year, its the value and beauty and absolute GIFT to have to depend on God every.single.day. Jesus- give me more of this, your grace is enough.

 "Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go." And after this he said to him, "Follow me."- John